An Intent Look

I've been crazy-busy with lining up authors for this years' CarePoint releases. We expect to have at least 4 workbooks this summer and at least 4 more in December. Can people really write that fast??? We'll see. But rest assured, if it's not quality stuff, you won't see it.

As a sneak preview, here are a few of the topics we expect to have this year:

• Spiritual Insecurity
• Hope for Widows
• Infertility
• Post-partum Depression
• Fear
• and something along the lines of intimacy hunger / hunger for nurturing... (I will be co-authoring [to be announced later :) ] this one and we still have to nail down the details)

I'm so excited about all that's developing with CarePoint right now. But one thing that God has been speaking to me this past week is from Matthew 19.26. As Jesus was talking with His disciples, KJV says, "Jesus beheld them". A word study revealed the original meaning behind "beheld" in this verse (from the Greek "emblepo") meaning "earnest looking".

And "earnest" refers to being "active or diligent". I love the New Living Translation of this verse:

"Jesus looked at them intently."

When has someone looked at you "intently"? I know when I look at someone actively, earnestly or intently, it's because there's care, purpose, direction and deep connection. That's how Jesus looks at his followers...at me...and you if you follow Him.

I want to return the look and capture His gaze. I don't want to miss it.

The Best Christmas Tree

I realize it's a bit late for Christmas, but I just wanted to share my favorite Christmas tree picture...taken by my friend Maureen, with my friends Monika and Patti. :)

Like a Child

Jesus' disciples were arguing. First, I find it comforting that the people He chose to be closest to Himself were clearly imperfect and had issues. I can relate...and could fit in there.

Their argument in Matthew 18 was about which of the disciples was the greatest. Have you noticed any friends of yours that do that too? Have you had that competitive edge yourself? I do at times. As I thought about where that comes from, I thought there must be a sense of insignificance that drives us to compete in this way. Somehow, we must not be fully accepting and resting in the significance given to us by the God of the universe, our own Creator.

Jesus' response to the disciples' argument was to bring a child to stand in front of them, stating, (as Beth Moore puts it) "You want to see my idea of greatness? Take a look at this child."

Now I'm wondering, what was it about a child that made him/her great? Some possibilities I thought of were:

• unquestioning faith
• uninhibited intimacy
• authenticity...they're real...they haven't learned to feel one way and act another (and be passive/aggressive or wear a mask...)
• confidence in another's love (they don't need to compete for love; they trust it)
• A TENDER HEART

I was most struck by the last one. I think it's a tender heart that allows all the other things.

What would you add to this list? I'm curious to hear some replies.

Peace, Not War

Last night, the Lord brought to mind the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" as I re-read my last blog and the verse at the end. He was allowing me to see that I had been fighting hard against the enemy, and yet He wanted to bring me peace. There are times when we need to fight...and fight hard...and there are other times when we think we have to fight, but we really don't because He's already won. He was reminding me that this particular time was "a time to wage peace, not war" and to rest in the victory that He's already gained.

I was enjoying some peaceful worship time this morning as I joined Chris Tomlin in a chorus of "How can I keep from singing". It spoke to me in many ways today, but everytime I hear it, one particular line melts my heart: "I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing." And not only that, but I am (and you are too) loved by Him so much that He sings over you and me.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV)
"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

January 12th Birthdays

Today, January 12th, I'm celebrating the birthday of two people in my life: my friend Monika and my friend Candi. Both of these women have impacted my life deeply with their faith, hope and love.

Today, I'm also being impacted by a different type of birth. God let me know many, many months ago that I was to write a workbook on the topic of FEAR. I wasn't sure why at the time...and I really didn't feel qualified, although I knew people I could consult, so I was agreeable to the task. Since then, God has revealed some truth to me about my own life...that fear exists in it. I think it's interesting that we can live in such a state of self-unawareness! So I rolled with the increasing insight into my own life, and I've been working through my fear-related issues and taking a lot of notes (for my own remembrance AND for the book), and I believe I've been learning and growing much in this area.

Yesterday, however, I told God that I was ready to be done with this issue. That I really didn't want to write this book. And that I'm okay to...to just...not grow in this area anymore...that I've grown quite a bit...and it's all good, but I can be done now. :) I reemphasized to Him that I really didn't want to write the book!

I don't think God and I were necessarily on the same page....

Earlier today, I was listening to a dvd from Dan Allender's conference. Dan talked about Abraham [known as Abram at the time] being called by God out of the comfortable and affluent society (Ur) in which he lived, and into an unspecified other place. According to Halley's Bible Handbook, "Just preceding the time of Abraham, it was the most magnificent city in all the world" (88). And then during Abraham's time, it remained an important city alongside Babylon. By societal standards, Ur was definitely the place to be!

But, as is often the case, God had a different plan and a differing idea of "the place to be". In Genesis 12.1, "The Lord had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you.'" I'm guessing my response would have been something like, "But I am comfortable and secure right where I am. I already know there's nothing better on all the earth." But Abraham, being the [albeit flawed...just as I am] father of faith, left his comfort and security to just...go...not even knowing where he was going.

I was struck with this idea of leaving comfort and security and going wherever God leads, not yet knowing where that is. It hit home as we have just recently become convinced that it is time to leave our current church and continue on a journey. I'm stunned at how much insecurity gets stirred up in me with not knowing where I/we will end up.

God had revealed fears in me that I didn't know existed. And now I was ready to be done with the revelation and teaching...figuring He had taught me enough. Ha! He's committed to me, for better or worse. And He has reminded me that He is committed to seeing me through my fears, including the fear of writing this workbook ...on Fear.

So His reminder is like a new birth for me. It's a recommitment to the journey He has for me.

Lamentations 3:22-24 says,
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"

I will wait for Him...because His compassions are new every morning, and He is faithful. He provides each day as a new birthday.

Hope

I was just glancing at Matthew 21...Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem.
The people were celebrating...anticipating that this was their time for
deliverance. Those filled with hope had no idea that their hope was about
to be crushed literally to death. As I linger in that moment...those two or
three days where the hope was crushed and there is much confusion and
uncertainty and maybe even a sense of hopelessness for some, there's
heaviness...grieving...a passionate desire for things to be different. Then
suddenly death is transformed into life that has more depth and meaning and
hope than it could have ever contained before.

Recently, I've felt like I've been in those two or three days...in various ways. In one situation...where there had once been celebration, I feel death; in another...where I
was experiencing (and seeing) so much connection (and transformation) with
people, now the circumstances have changed...more grieving.
I'm anticipating and I sense (and I hope I sense correctly) that this death
that I feel will suddenly be "transformed into life that has more depth and
meaning and hope than it could have ever contained before."

We must hold onto that hope. Ours is a God who brings life out of death!

Discipleship and "the prize"

I was reading "the faith chapter" in Hebrews 11 a little while ago...and intrigued by the last verses 39-40. The version I'm reading, NLT says,

"All of these people we have mentioned received God's approval because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had far better things in mind for us that would also benefit them, for they can't receive the prize at the end of the race until we finish the race."

Whew. My first inclination was to skim over this quickly because it was hard to follow all the "we", "us", "they" and "them" statements. But I thought again and decided to try to understand it.

Look at two other versions with me:

The Message Bible says,
"Not one of these people, even though their lives of faith were exemplary, got their hands on what was promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours."

And Amplified says,
"And all of these, though they won divine approval by [means of] their faith, did not receive the fulfillment of what was promised,
Because God had us in mind and had something better and greater in view for us, so that they [these heroes and heroines of faith] should not come to perfection apart from us [before we could join them]."

The point of unity becomes so clear in these verses...we need each other, both here on earth and in the heavenly realm, in order to be complete and perfected as God intended. We cannot be loners in our faith. Rather, we will be completing and perfecting our own lives (now and eternally) when we seek to speak LIFE into others and build BEAUTY into the lives of others. Then, together, being a TEAM, we will receive THE PRIZE for which we have long awaited.

The completion of our reward doesn't end with us. When we die, it is not the end of the ramifications of our lives...including our rewards. Our eternal rewards will have much to do with the effectiveness of our discipleship...how well we have overflowed God's Spirit into the lives of those around us.

For more on effective discipleship, read Glenn McDonald's book, "The Disciple Making Church". I read it this summer and it was excellent!

Groanings...the language of God

Surrounding us this time of year we hear "Joy to the world", "Jingle Bells", "It's the most wonderful time of the year", and other cheerful songs of the season, but Christmas isn't always a happy time.

Just two days ago, I watched an 83 year old man kiss the love of his life good-bye as he saw her for the first time in her new surroundings...a beautifully carved wooden box they picked out years earlier. Holding onto 65 years of precious memories, yet unable to stand or even speak, his weeping and groaning filled the room. No one in the room could comprehend the loss he was experiencing, and although we stood witness to a deep, deep pain, no one could adequately interpret his groanings.

Romans 8:25-26 says, "But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words".

I find this verse comforting; God's Spirit speaks with groanings that have meaning far beyond what can be expressed with mere words. God's Spirit perfectly understood that man's loss and pain...providing undefiled, perfected communication with God. And God certainly hears. Acts 7:34 says, "I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free."

Soon after Jesus' birth, He was sought to be killed by the king. I'm sure God heard groanings of despair from Mary and Joseph. God sent an angel to direct Mary and Joseph, along with Jesus, to a place of preservation and protection.

We have a God who hears our groanings as we live in a world filled with disappointment and pain. As He hears our groanings, and interprets them perfectly, He comes to set us free.

Guilt Free

I was reading in Isaiah 6. At the time that God called Isaiah into ministry, Isaiah says "I saw the Lord...." He goes on to explain what all he saw, and in it all, he was overwhelmed by the HOLINESS of God. In fact, he was so overwhelmed by God's holiness that he immediately felt exposed in his impurity saying, "'Woe to me!' I cried. 'I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips....'"

Just then a seraph (possibly an angel-like being) touched his lips with a hot coal saying, "'See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.'"

After that, the Lord says He needs someone, and Isaiah responds, "'Here am I. Send me!'" No feelings of shame for the impurity that existed in him before God cleansed him. And no sense of inadequacy for being used by God. I think he just knew he was clean and ready to go where God wanted to lead him.

What I'm most moved by is the idea of the hot coal. As believers today, we have Christ's atonement for our sin, and we have been purified through His death and resurrection. I see the coal as being the equivalent of Jesus' blood dripping down the cross. He calls us to drink His blood (i.e., wine as a symbol of His blood), which touches our lips and infiltrates our entire body, symbolizing the same cleansing of our entire being just as the coal cleansed Isaiah's unclean lips.

If we have accepted the atonement, we are guilt free! And we can stand purified, and move in freedom, and be ready for Him...whatever He has for us.

"The Most Important Thing"

The other day my daughter, Allison, got an award for her thoughtfulness at school. Her teacher had noticed that many days during recess, Allison would walk around picking up trash. Wanting to acknowledge her efforts, her teacher announced her award to the entire school at their morning assembly.

A few days later, Allison and I were beginning a project of making pillows for her school's Marketing Day. Referring to being able to offer the pillows for sale to the other students, the conversation went like this:

Allison: Maybe other kids will like me now.

Me: The other kids don't like you??

Allison: That's what got me into picking up trash at recess.

Me: Well, they don't know what they're missing by not being your friend.

Allison: Well, it's okay. I have lots of other friends at home. Besides, the most important thing is knowing God loves you.


Oh, that our hearts would be able to acknowledge loss and desire and yet be so content...having the faith of a child.

Shackles Removed

I was worshipping God this morning with Chris Tomlin's song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)". The first verse says,

"I once was lost"
How often do I live like I'm still lost!? ...but I am no longer lost. I need to live in the freedom of knowing I've been found.

"I once was blind"
...but I am no longer blind. He's given me eyes to see what needs to be seen. Will I look through His eyes?

"My chains are gone"
...I am no longer bound. I remember an analogy I heard once about how elephants are trained and controlled. I found this description online:

"If you have ever gone to the circus you’ve seen this “elephant trainers” principle in action. By that I mean the huge two-ton elephant shackled by one leg. At the end of the shackle is a small wooden stake dug into the ground. Hard to believe but true, that elephant is being limited by that short chain and the small stake. Obviously the elephant has enough power to free itself and roam around as he pleases. Yet the elephant has been conditioned to accept this limitation. You see as a youngster the shackle placed on his leg was able to hold him in place. After tugging on it for a certain period of time his leg became bruised. This created enough pain in him that he stopped attempting his own freedom. Once he accepts the limitation imposed on him it becomes a permanent belief, or in his case, a conditioned reaction. Now as he grows into adulthood, he has the power to easily pull the stake out of the ground, but his conditioning has taught him that the effort will not only be futile, it will be painful as well."*

I've also heard that the elephant's behavior remains controlled even after the shackle is completely removed...and he responds as if he is still shackled.

It occurred to me that I all too often live as if I'm still bound and shackled even though I have been freed by Christ Himself. I need to live like I've been freed.

If you have the song, or any version of Amazing Grace, I'd encourage you to put it on, turn it up, and remember, if you've accepted His gift of grace, how deeply amazing it is.

Our chains are gone!
We've been set free!
Let's live in the freedom of Christ today!


*http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Martinez1.html

A Lesson From Garfield

Why do we pray?

I mean, what are our motives behind praying? I think one reason we pray is because we want life to work. Our tendency is...
-if someone's sick, we pray they'll get better.
-if your car breaks down, you pray it will work.
-if I don't have money to pay my bills, I pray for money.

That's all fine...and it's good in the sense that God tells us to pray for what we need (Php. 4.6) and to cast our cares on Him (Ps. 55). He, too, cares about these things. I'm wondering, though, if our tendency to pray for health, wealth, comfort and ease is because that's where we find LIFE.

He, Himself, reminds us that He is the Life, not our circumstances. He certainly cares about our circumstances, but for now, the higher priority is character above circumstances and trials. He'll use the circumstances and trials to develop godly character in us and beautify us.
Evil is fighting for our hearts, and with our sinful nature, we will naturally gravitate toward the evil.

But God is passionate about our beauty. He's still creating beauty, and He will turn our ashes into beauty (Is. 61). Of course, we have to hand over our ashes....

Where I find life will be evident in my prayers. Will I trust that He has life for me? If I'm seeking life in Christ alone, certainly I will take my needs, cares and concerns to Him, and my prayers will sound more like Jesus' prayers:

“My Father! If this cup cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done” (Matt. 26.42).

"Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one" (Matt. 6.11-13).

I know I cannot find LIFE apart from Him...so I run to Him asking Him to be the One to fill me...regardless of my circumstances.

In the words of an animated, self-absorbed cat, I began my prayer time with God today:

"Love me; feed me; never leave me." --Garfield.

The Crash That Disabled Me

You haven't seen much activity on this site the last couple weeks. The reason: my computer crashed into a deadly virus. I can't believe how much time is required to carry out the efforts of euthanasia on this device...and then breathe life back into it!!

I have some thoughts from my time with God this morning that I want to share. I hope to post them later today. :)

Weakness

My mind has been spinning regarding one topic: weakness. It's not like it's a new topic...we're all quite familiar with weakness, whether it's our own or someone else's. But I have never seen weakness quite the way I see it now.

The main thought is this: "Our greatest weaknesses are often rooted in woundedness."

Let that thought simmer in your mind for a bit. It's the idea that when you touch on people's greatest weaknesses, you are likely touching their deepest wounds.

This past Sunday, this idea hit me on a deeper level to where I began weeping. I realized that some of the things that I see in others...things that might annoy me, like some of their weaknesses...things I may have approached (or may have wanted to approach) out of frustration...they are often the result of deeply painful wounds that person has endured. I'm seeing these things now through the eyes of compassion...and it breaks my heart. It brought me to the point of telling God, "I never want to approach someone's weakness again!"

That's when I heard Him speak to my heart, "Now, you are ready."

"Ready!?!" The thought left me breathless and overwhelmed, filled with grief. I could see that to approach someone's weakness well takes great care and reliance on God.

After spending a day with this grief, God showed me the hope and the purpose in it.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God says, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'"
And in verse 10, Paul concludes that "...for when I am weak, then I am strong."

Paul had been given a (v.7) "thorn in the flesh" (a wound) that invoked his weakness, but God promised His power nonetheless. Paul learned that our weaknesses allow us to become, in the words of Henri Nouwen, a "wounded healer."

You may want to study this for yourself, but it seems that nearly all weakness comes from wounds. In Leviticus 26:36, we see that in certain cases, God would bring weakness to a group of people. This may be an exception where the weakness is totally inflicted by God for a purpose, apart from woundedness. On the other hand, there may be unseen distrust in God on the part of that group of people, and that distrust may be the result of a wound. This is one that may require a deeper level of study....

In Genesis 3, we see that Eve's sinful nature was the source of her weakness in giving in and eating the forbidden fruit. Our sinful nature, of course, is always at the root of all sin. In Eve's sin, it could be that the serpent's betrayal inflicted a wound (even though she didn't recognize the betrayal or the wound at the time) that stirred up her sinful nature in a way that caused her to distrust God and seek life apart from God. Within her sinful nature (as with ours), the wound became the instigator of her weakness.

Aside from Paul's example in 2 Corinthians 12, there is one clear example I can think of in Judges 16. Samson is the strong man. The wound of betrayal by Delilah completely zaps his strength and he is left weak.

Think of ways that your own wounds have brought weakness to your own life. For me, one thing I think of is public speaking or anything that requires my voice. (Now I'm getting vulnerable with you here.) In elementary school, I was taken out of my classroom on several occasions to meet with the speech pathologist, because, from my six or seven-year-old perspective, there was something wrong with me and I didn't measure up...and it became a wound in my soul. It's an area that has been a huge weakness in my life, but an area where God is gradually bringing about healing. A big step in my healing process was having to record audio CDs for use with our carepoint workbooks...and then another part was hearing a friend's positive feedback about one that she heard.

Whatever our wound was and the weakness it brought about, if we want to find the strength that Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians 12, we must trust God. Here's the pattern that we'll hopefully follow:

WOUND ---> WEAKNESS ---> TRUST ---> GOD'S STRENGTH

The question is: How long will we walk in the weakness before we put our trust in God in this specific area to receive His strength?

HOPE is here!!!

...Clash of Hope, that is...my newest book on conflict resolution. It just came in the mail today and is available to order at http://www.carepointministry.com/.

Let me share with you just a few short excerpts:

"This workbook is intended to be a catalyst for healing for those who have found themselves struggling with conflict issues. This isn't intended to be as much about 'how to' resolve conflict (stay with me here) as it is exploring God's sovereignty over conflict, the pain involved in it, and the good that God is able to bring from it...."

"Our own woundedness deeply ties into how we handle conflict, how we resolve it, how we respond to it. From many of our perspectives, conflict equals rejection. We interpret a message that says conflict is not love. ...Before we can successfully approach and work through conflict, we need to be able to delete the equation. Unless we delete the equation, those old wounds and messages will trigger stronger, inaccurate reactions. Deleting the equation requires replacing lies with truth...." (20-21).

"As long as we have woundedness, we will have a tendency to hurt each other. And when we hurt each other, there's a battle. We must not get so wrapped up in the battle that we miss the love story of which we are a part" (111).

"God is continuing to speak to me about grace and helping me to understand his grace toward me on a much deeper level. I had put on my Comfort CD by Kathy Troccoli which began with the song, That's how much I love you. The words begin:
I died for you
I'd do it all again if I had to
To show you what you really mean to Me
...I recognized my own attitudes and behaviors toward God...the times (whether long ago or recently) when I've been angry and hurtful, selfish, demanding, accusing, etc., and in it all I've deeply hurt the One who wanted to be closest to me. But what really astounds me is God's response to me. Notice the words in the song above again. In the midst of all the ways I inflict pain on others, he chooses to lay down his own life, to give up his own justice and happiness, so that I can know grace, freedom, and my own deep value" (117).

I'm excited about the resolution God will bring about in many lives through this tool. Please check it out and let me know what you think.