You haven't seen much activity on this site the last couple weeks. The reason: my computer crashed into a deadly virus. I can't believe how much time is required to carry out the efforts of euthanasia on this device...and then breathe life back into it!!
I have some thoughts from my time with God this morning that I want to share. I hope to post them later today. :)
Monday, October 29, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Weakness
My mind has been spinning regarding one topic: weakness. It's not like it's a new topic...we're all quite familiar with weakness, whether it's our own or someone else's. But I have never seen weakness quite the way I see it now.
The main thought is this: "Our greatest weaknesses are often rooted in woundedness."
Let that thought simmer in your mind for a bit. It's the idea that when you touch on people's greatest weaknesses, you are likely touching their deepest wounds.
This past Sunday, this idea hit me on a deeper level to where I began weeping. I realized that some of the things that I see in others...things that might annoy me, like some of their weaknesses...things I may have approached (or may have wanted to approach) out of frustration...they are often the result of deeply painful wounds that person has endured. I'm seeing these things now through the eyes of compassion...and it breaks my heart. It brought me to the point of telling God, "I never want to approach someone's weakness again!"
That's when I heard Him speak to my heart, "Now, you are ready."
"Ready!?!" The thought left me breathless and overwhelmed, filled with grief. I could see that to approach someone's weakness well takes great care and reliance on God.
After spending a day with this grief, God showed me the hope and the purpose in it.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God says, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'"
And in verse 10, Paul concludes that "...for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Paul had been given a (v.7) "thorn in the flesh" (a wound) that invoked his weakness, but God promised His power nonetheless. Paul learned that our weaknesses allow us to become, in the words of Henri Nouwen, a "wounded healer."
You may want to study this for yourself, but it seems that nearly all weakness comes from wounds. In Leviticus 26:36, we see that in certain cases, God would bring weakness to a group of people. This may be an exception where the weakness is totally inflicted by God for a purpose, apart from woundedness. On the other hand, there may be unseen distrust in God on the part of that group of people, and that distrust may be the result of a wound. This is one that may require a deeper level of study....
In Genesis 3, we see that Eve's sinful nature was the source of her weakness in giving in and eating the forbidden fruit. Our sinful nature, of course, is always at the root of all sin. In Eve's sin, it could be that the serpent's betrayal inflicted a wound (even though she didn't recognize the betrayal or the wound at the time) that stirred up her sinful nature in a way that caused her to distrust God and seek life apart from God. Within her sinful nature (as with ours), the wound became the instigator of her weakness.
Aside from Paul's example in 2 Corinthians 12, there is one clear example I can think of in Judges 16. Samson is the strong man. The wound of betrayal by Delilah completely zaps his strength and he is left weak.
Think of ways that your own wounds have brought weakness to your own life. For me, one thing I think of is public speaking or anything that requires my voice. (Now I'm getting vulnerable with you here.) In elementary school, I was taken out of my classroom on several occasions to meet with the speech pathologist, because, from my six or seven-year-old perspective, there was something wrong with me and I didn't measure up...and it became a wound in my soul. It's an area that has been a huge weakness in my life, but an area where God is gradually bringing about healing. A big step in my healing process was having to record audio CDs for use with our carepoint workbooks...and then another part was hearing a friend's positive feedback about one that she heard.
Whatever our wound was and the weakness it brought about, if we want to find the strength that Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians 12, we must trust God. Here's the pattern that we'll hopefully follow:
The question is: How long will we walk in the weakness before we put our trust in God in this specific area to receive His strength?
The main thought is this: "Our greatest weaknesses are often rooted in woundedness."
Let that thought simmer in your mind for a bit. It's the idea that when you touch on people's greatest weaknesses, you are likely touching their deepest wounds.
This past Sunday, this idea hit me on a deeper level to where I began weeping. I realized that some of the things that I see in others...things that might annoy me, like some of their weaknesses...things I may have approached (or may have wanted to approach) out of frustration...they are often the result of deeply painful wounds that person has endured. I'm seeing these things now through the eyes of compassion...and it breaks my heart. It brought me to the point of telling God, "I never want to approach someone's weakness again!"
That's when I heard Him speak to my heart, "Now, you are ready."
"Ready!?!" The thought left me breathless and overwhelmed, filled with grief. I could see that to approach someone's weakness well takes great care and reliance on God.
After spending a day with this grief, God showed me the hope and the purpose in it.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God says, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.'"
And in verse 10, Paul concludes that "...for when I am weak, then I am strong."
Paul had been given a (v.7) "thorn in the flesh" (a wound) that invoked his weakness, but God promised His power nonetheless. Paul learned that our weaknesses allow us to become, in the words of Henri Nouwen, a "wounded healer."
You may want to study this for yourself, but it seems that nearly all weakness comes from wounds. In Leviticus 26:36, we see that in certain cases, God would bring weakness to a group of people. This may be an exception where the weakness is totally inflicted by God for a purpose, apart from woundedness. On the other hand, there may be unseen distrust in God on the part of that group of people, and that distrust may be the result of a wound. This is one that may require a deeper level of study....
In Genesis 3, we see that Eve's sinful nature was the source of her weakness in giving in and eating the forbidden fruit. Our sinful nature, of course, is always at the root of all sin. In Eve's sin, it could be that the serpent's betrayal inflicted a wound (even though she didn't recognize the betrayal or the wound at the time) that stirred up her sinful nature in a way that caused her to distrust God and seek life apart from God. Within her sinful nature (as with ours), the wound became the instigator of her weakness.
Aside from Paul's example in 2 Corinthians 12, there is one clear example I can think of in Judges 16. Samson is the strong man. The wound of betrayal by Delilah completely zaps his strength and he is left weak.
Think of ways that your own wounds have brought weakness to your own life. For me, one thing I think of is public speaking or anything that requires my voice. (Now I'm getting vulnerable with you here.) In elementary school, I was taken out of my classroom on several occasions to meet with the speech pathologist, because, from my six or seven-year-old perspective, there was something wrong with me and I didn't measure up...and it became a wound in my soul. It's an area that has been a huge weakness in my life, but an area where God is gradually bringing about healing. A big step in my healing process was having to record audio CDs for use with our carepoint workbooks...and then another part was hearing a friend's positive feedback about one that she heard.
Whatever our wound was and the weakness it brought about, if we want to find the strength that Paul talked about in 2 Corinthians 12, we must trust God. Here's the pattern that we'll hopefully follow:
WOUND ---> WEAKNESS ---> TRUST ---> GOD'S STRENGTH
The question is: How long will we walk in the weakness before we put our trust in God in this specific area to receive His strength?
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
HOPE is here!!!
...Clash of Hope, that is...my newest book on conflict resolution. It just came in the mail today and is available to order at http://www.carepointministry.com/.
Let me share with you just a few short excerpts:
"This workbook is intended to be a catalyst for healing for those who have found themselves struggling with conflict issues. This isn't intended to be as much about 'how to' resolve conflict (stay with me here) as it is exploring God's sovereignty over conflict, the pain involved in it, and the good that God is able to bring from it...."
"God is continuing to speak to me about grace and helping me to understand his grace toward me on a much deeper level. I had put on my Comfort CD by Kathy Troccoli which began with the song, That's how much I love you. The words begin:
I died for you
I'd do it all again if I had to
To show you what you really mean to Me
...I recognized my own attitudes and behaviors toward God...the times (whether long ago or recently) when I've been angry and hurtful, selfish, demanding, accusing, etc., and in it all I've deeply hurt the One who wanted to be closest to me. But what really astounds me is God's response to me. Notice the words in the song above again. In the midst of all the ways I inflict pain on others, he chooses to lay down his own life, to give up his own justice and happiness, so that I can know grace, freedom, and my own deep value" (117).
I'm excited about the resolution God will bring about in many lives through this tool. Please check it out and let me know what you think.
Let me share with you just a few short excerpts:
"This workbook is intended to be a catalyst for healing for those who have found themselves struggling with conflict issues. This isn't intended to be as much about 'how to' resolve conflict (stay with me here) as it is exploring God's sovereignty over conflict, the pain involved in it, and the good that God is able to bring from it...."
"Our own woundedness deeply ties into how we handle conflict, how we resolve it, how we respond to it. From many of our perspectives, conflict equals rejection. We interpret a message that says conflict is not love. ...Before we can successfully approach and work through conflict, we need to be able to delete the equation. Unless we delete the equation, those old wounds and messages will trigger stronger, inaccurate reactions. Deleting the equation requires replacing lies with truth...." (20-21).
"As long as we have woundedness, we will have a tendency to hurt each other. And when we hurt each other, there's a battle. We must not get so wrapped up in the battle that we miss the love story of which we are a part" (111)."God is continuing to speak to me about grace and helping me to understand his grace toward me on a much deeper level. I had put on my Comfort CD by Kathy Troccoli which began with the song, That's how much I love you. The words begin:
I died for you
I'd do it all again if I had to
To show you what you really mean to Me
...I recognized my own attitudes and behaviors toward God...the times (whether long ago or recently) when I've been angry and hurtful, selfish, demanding, accusing, etc., and in it all I've deeply hurt the One who wanted to be closest to me. But what really astounds me is God's response to me. Notice the words in the song above again. In the midst of all the ways I inflict pain on others, he chooses to lay down his own life, to give up his own justice and happiness, so that I can know grace, freedom, and my own deep value" (117).
I'm excited about the resolution God will bring about in many lives through this tool. Please check it out and let me know what you think.
Monday, October 8, 2007
LifeCare small group kick-off
God has led me in an amazing way this year to be involved with a new parachurch organization called LifeCare (http://www.lifecarechristiancenter.org/) that exists to see people freed from their various forms of bondage and experiencing the abundant life that God intended for them. I wish I had the time to share all the details of God's orchestration in bringing me to LifeCare, as well as all the transformation he's brought about in my life...particularly over the last six years (I am SO totally different than I was six years ago...or even a year ago for that matter). He amazes me!! I could write volumes about it (in fact, so far I have 3 books accounting for glimpses of it...check those out at http://www.carepointministry.org/).
God is in the business of transforming lives, and His goal is His own likeness. His intent is good; His desire is for beauty and strength.
The small group that I started this past week is called Healing Tears, based on my book by the same name, and deals with the issue of emotional discontent and discouragement. I have a wonderful group of women that I have the privilege of walking beside and watching as God beautifully transforms their lives. I am so excited about all that He's going to do in the next ten weeks!
I have been on my knees in prayer for these women and for this ministry. I know that we are reliant on Him to see great things happen; to see bondage broken; and to see abundant life obtained and wildly lived out. Please pray with me that God will continue to amaze us with His powerful work at LifeCare.
God is in the business of transforming lives, and His goal is His own likeness. His intent is good; His desire is for beauty and strength.
The small group that I started this past week is called Healing Tears, based on my book by the same name, and deals with the issue of emotional discontent and discouragement. I have a wonderful group of women that I have the privilege of walking beside and watching as God beautifully transforms their lives. I am so excited about all that He's going to do in the next ten weeks!
I have been on my knees in prayer for these women and for this ministry. I know that we are reliant on Him to see great things happen; to see bondage broken; and to see abundant life obtained and wildly lived out. Please pray with me that God will continue to amaze us with His powerful work at LifeCare.
Friday, October 5, 2007
God cares about every hair on my head
Subtitled: the day I used 'black' shampoo
My friend took me into an Indian store, handed me a 'special' bottle of "blackshine" shampoo, and told me I had to try this. Having dark blonde/very light brown hair, my skepticism increased as I read the bottle: "for black hair that lacks lustre", "Do you feel ignored when someone else outshines you with great black hair? And do you worry that you haven't done enough when your hair is not at its shiniest black?", "...nourishes from deep within to reveal blacker, shinier, silkier hair."
This worried me. She, however, reassured me that they are appealing to Indian women who all have black hair, and that she used it and her hair didn't get any darker (but then again, she has dark, dark brown hair!!), and that it would make my hair more vibrant. But that wasn't all...she opened the bottle to allow me to sniff the pleasant scent and reveal the jet-black color of the shampoo! The thought of putting something, that looked like the grease a mechanic would use, on my hair was quite unnerving. Somehow, my anxiety and skepticism didn't keep me from paying $6 and walking out of the store with this bottle of shampoo in my hand. (I need her to do marketing for me/CarePoint!)
I decided quickly that I would need at least a couple days to warm up to the idea of actually risking using the stuff.
So today, debating whether I should touch up the gray in my hair with color or try black shampoo (for black hair, to make my [blonde] hair blacker...and shinier), I decided to forego the coloring to try to get my hair healthier first...and maybe the black shampoo would help nourish it.
So...in the shower, I delayed the black shampoo as long as possible.... Then the time had come. I gently picked up the bottle, shook my head in disbelief at what I was doing, and squirted some in my hand. My head still shaking in disbelief, I inspected the color..."Oh, God, what am I doing?!?" With my fingers of my other hand, I touched the black substance, my head still swaying from left to right..."What is possessing me to do such a thing?!?" I'm confident it wasn't in disrespect, but rather a plea for help that "Oh, God; Oh, God; Oh, God" kept resonating in my head.
"Walk by faith, not by sight" came to mind (no doubt from my plea to Him for help), which I repeated to myself many times. I began to put some of the black shampoo in my hair (and then glanced out the shower door into the mirror to make sure it was turning white...like normal shampoo). Deciding it was all or nothing, I covered my entire hair with the stuff, massaging it in thoroughly. It smelled good, and seemed to have a good feel so far. Then, questioning the use of conditioner, I chose to resort to Aveda, something I trust.
The deed was done. Now would come the test..."When I open the shower door and look in the mirror, what color will my hair really be?" The scene from "Runaway Bride" flashed through my mind when Julia Roberts and Joan Cusack colored Richard Gere's hair with a rainbow color. There was a small hope welling up within me that it might actually darken some of the gray a bit...that would be nice. And I have been considering going a bit darker again anyway, so a slightly darker tint might be nice.... So the door opened, and there I was in the mirror...appearing exactly the same (gray and all) as before (but with a slightly elevated blood pressure).
I don't know about shinier at this point, but it does seem to be silkier. :)
My friend took me into an Indian store, handed me a 'special' bottle of "blackshine" shampoo, and told me I had to try this. Having dark blonde/very light brown hair, my skepticism increased as I read the bottle: "for black hair that lacks lustre", "Do you feel ignored when someone else outshines you with great black hair? And do you worry that you haven't done enough when your hair is not at its shiniest black?", "...nourishes from deep within to reveal blacker, shinier, silkier hair."
This worried me. She, however, reassured me that they are appealing to Indian women who all have black hair, and that she used it and her hair didn't get any darker (but then again, she has dark, dark brown hair!!), and that it would make my hair more vibrant. But that wasn't all...she opened the bottle to allow me to sniff the pleasant scent and reveal the jet-black color of the shampoo! The thought of putting something, that looked like the grease a mechanic would use, on my hair was quite unnerving. Somehow, my anxiety and skepticism didn't keep me from paying $6 and walking out of the store with this bottle of shampoo in my hand. (I need her to do marketing for me/CarePoint!)
I decided quickly that I would need at least a couple days to warm up to the idea of actually risking using the stuff.
So today, debating whether I should touch up the gray in my hair with color or try black shampoo (for black hair, to make my [blonde] hair blacker...and shinier), I decided to forego the coloring to try to get my hair healthier first...and maybe the black shampoo would help nourish it.
So...in the shower, I delayed the black shampoo as long as possible.... Then the time had come. I gently picked up the bottle, shook my head in disbelief at what I was doing, and squirted some in my hand. My head still shaking in disbelief, I inspected the color..."Oh, God, what am I doing?!?" With my fingers of my other hand, I touched the black substance, my head still swaying from left to right..."What is possessing me to do such a thing?!?" I'm confident it wasn't in disrespect, but rather a plea for help that "Oh, God; Oh, God; Oh, God" kept resonating in my head.
"Walk by faith, not by sight" came to mind (no doubt from my plea to Him for help), which I repeated to myself many times. I began to put some of the black shampoo in my hair (and then glanced out the shower door into the mirror to make sure it was turning white...like normal shampoo). Deciding it was all or nothing, I covered my entire hair with the stuff, massaging it in thoroughly. It smelled good, and seemed to have a good feel so far. Then, questioning the use of conditioner, I chose to resort to Aveda, something I trust.
The deed was done. Now would come the test..."When I open the shower door and look in the mirror, what color will my hair really be?" The scene from "Runaway Bride" flashed through my mind when Julia Roberts and Joan Cusack colored Richard Gere's hair with a rainbow color. There was a small hope welling up within me that it might actually darken some of the gray a bit...that would be nice. And I have been considering going a bit darker again anyway, so a slightly darker tint might be nice.... So the door opened, and there I was in the mirror...appearing exactly the same (gray and all) as before (but with a slightly elevated blood pressure).
I don't know about shinier at this point, but it does seem to be silkier. :)
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