I feel like, with the increased family demands that summer brings, I'm moving toward self-sufficiency...not a good thing. Time with God gets squeezed out as we all stay up later and sleep in longer...and yet I still need to get the kids up at a reasonable hour, but I sleep till that time.
So my time with God gets "postponed" till...well, maybe the next day??? ...and my reliance on God gets replaced with reliance on me.
Our flesh (and our enemy) would cause us to ask, "So what's wrong with self-reliance?" It sounds rather noble, non-imposing, strong.... But, we're often lulled into the belief that we can handle whatever life throws at us...and that limits us tremendously. God created us to do amazing works which we cannot do apart from Him...including having truly successful parenting and family lives, ministries, etc.
I know God has moved me, in recent years, out of living in the realm of possibility and into the realm of impossibility...and my attempts to accomplish my purpose apart from reliance on Him will fail...I will fail without God-reliance.
He's my most satisfying relationship in this life. Without it, I am lost and floundering and trying to fill an ache and emptiness in my soul.
I was stunned last night as I picked up my Jesus Calling book and was confronted. I read June 22 (b/c I didn't know what day it was):
"Thank Me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in My Face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about My treatment of you."
The word "rebellion" startled me. What? Not me. However, as I looked closely at my heart, I saw hints of growing self-sufficiency as I lacked quality time with Him...looking for and entertaining ideas of how to resolve my troublesome issues with comfortable solutions.
The text goes on to say (about complaining), "But once you step over that line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away. The best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving. It is impossible to thank Me and curse Me at the same time.
"Thanking Me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My Presence, which overshadows all your problems. (Ps. 116.17 and Php. 4.4-6)."
Still looking for a bit of relief, :/ I opened up Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest: May 23. "Careful Infidelity". Again, what?? He says worry = infidelity.
Matthew 6.25 describes how when we are worried about "the cares of the world", it chokes out the Word that God puts in us. He says, "...worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the practical details of our lives."
Troubles. This world is full of them...and they impact my life. I want to run away to safety. But He says He's overcome the troubles (Jn. 16.33). Lord, give me tenacity, perseverance, faith that You are in the middle of this...and that I will find You as I dig in to the middle of the things I want to run and find safety from.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
"Would you like to get well?"
Jesus saw the lame man lying next to the healing pool. I guess I'd probably ask the same question if I had the power to heal, even though I already knew why the man was there. But there is something deeper in the question. There is responsibility in being healed.
Let me be clear! There are certainly many times when our health (physical, emotional, mental) is NOT a result of our own choices and actions. But there ARE times, more than we think, when it is.
For example, if you're living a life that is not at peace, but is, instead, consumed with stress because you think you have to perform at a certain level, you are inflicting your body with abuse by elevating safe levels of cortisol in your body, and sustained, it will have devastating effects on your health. Let's use this example....
Many of us often live in that state of stress or 'unhealth' while (I suppose, hopefully) routinely returning to Jesus to ask forgiveness for our behavior...for neglecting Him, neglecting our families, etc. Unfortunately, we end up returning again and again with the same confession, the same "stuck in a rut" sin, and the same "I don't know how to get free of this problem". And we keep running back to Him with our confession...sometimes in shame.
I've noticed, though, that when there's healing that's needed, Jesus doesn't necessarily confront people and ask them to stop sinning first. He heals them FIRST. But His question, whether we hear it or not, is always, "Would you like to get well?" If our answer, or our attitude, is "No", He won't force His healing on us. And when we keep returning to Him, He will keep forgiving us.
After He healed the lame man at the healing pool, Jesus disappeared into the crowd, but then later "Jesus found [the man] in the Temple and told him, 'Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.'" (John 5.1-15)
We have the choice to keep asking for God's forgiveness (and in many areas of our lives, we can rest in this beauty of His love), and in His amazing grace, over and over He extends that amazing grace to us...the grace that was made possible by His costly sacrifice on the cross. We would be hopeless without it. But in some areas of our lives, there is freedom awaiting us so that we don't have to continue in our routine sin or 'unhealth'. We can pursue His healing...IF we would like to get well.
Going back to the stress example, to get to healing, we would have to be willing to look at what's "driving" us to perform at that stressful level...and seek His healing in that place. And there is freedom there for you and those around you.
Feel free to ask me about some options if your answer to the question is "Yes."
Let me be clear! There are certainly many times when our health (physical, emotional, mental) is NOT a result of our own choices and actions. But there ARE times, more than we think, when it is.
For example, if you're living a life that is not at peace, but is, instead, consumed with stress because you think you have to perform at a certain level, you are inflicting your body with abuse by elevating safe levels of cortisol in your body, and sustained, it will have devastating effects on your health. Let's use this example....
Many of us often live in that state of stress or 'unhealth' while (I suppose, hopefully) routinely returning to Jesus to ask forgiveness for our behavior...for neglecting Him, neglecting our families, etc. Unfortunately, we end up returning again and again with the same confession, the same "stuck in a rut" sin, and the same "I don't know how to get free of this problem". And we keep running back to Him with our confession...sometimes in shame.
I've noticed, though, that when there's healing that's needed, Jesus doesn't necessarily confront people and ask them to stop sinning first. He heals them FIRST. But His question, whether we hear it or not, is always, "Would you like to get well?" If our answer, or our attitude, is "No", He won't force His healing on us. And when we keep returning to Him, He will keep forgiving us.
After He healed the lame man at the healing pool, Jesus disappeared into the crowd, but then later "Jesus found [the man] in the Temple and told him, 'Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.'" (John 5.1-15)
We have the choice to keep asking for God's forgiveness (and in many areas of our lives, we can rest in this beauty of His love), and in His amazing grace, over and over He extends that amazing grace to us...the grace that was made possible by His costly sacrifice on the cross. We would be hopeless without it. But in some areas of our lives, there is freedom awaiting us so that we don't have to continue in our routine sin or 'unhealth'. We can pursue His healing...IF we would like to get well.
Going back to the stress example, to get to healing, we would have to be willing to look at what's "driving" us to perform at that stressful level...and seek His healing in that place. And there is freedom there for you and those around you.
Feel free to ask me about some options if your answer to the question is "Yes."
Friday, May 15, 2009
Lights, Camera, Action!
LifeCare Christian Center
presents
"The Call to Care" LIVE Training!
On May 28-30, LifeCare will be filming a live training, and you are invited to attend. If you have thought about learning or developing stronger leadership skills as a Care & Support group leader or growing in a supportive role in a ministry of care, either for yourself or your team, then this training is for you and your team.
If you have ever wondered about starting a Care & Support Ministry, you won't want to miss this opportunity.
On Thursday, May 28 at 7:00 pm, LifeCare will begin with a short time of worship followed by the live filming of "The Call to Care: Developing Care & Support Ministries in the Local Church".
This 2-1/2-hour, Thurs. evening training is FREE!
Friday, May 29, starting at 6:30 pm, we will film
"The Call to Care: Volunteer Training".
This training will continue Saturday morning 9:15 am through 3:30/4pm.
The cost for this 2-day (Fri-Sat) event has been reduced to $40 per person.
In this training, you will learn:
-what a care & support ministry is and what it can offer
-effective leadership skills
-valuable skills related to caring for the emotional/ physical/ relational needs of others
-practical skills for genuine discipleship
-and much more.
The training will be conducted by the Founder/ Director of LifeCare Christian Center,
Lillian Easterly-Smith.
Please contact LifeCare at Info.LifeCareCC@gmail.com or
(734) 961-7950 to reserve your seat.
LifeCare meets at ROC Church, 16115 Beck Rd. (btw. 5 & 6 Mile), Northville.
Sanctuary Entrance.
We look forward to seeing you there.
In His Service,
The LifeCare Team
LifeCare Christian Center
presents
"The Call to Care" LIVE Training!
On May 28-30, LifeCare will be filming a live training, and you are invited to attend. If you have thought about learning or developing stronger leadership skills as a Care & Support group leader or growing in a supportive role in a ministry of care, either for yourself or your team, then this training is for you and your team.
If you have ever wondered about starting a Care & Support Ministry, you won't want to miss this opportunity.
On Thursday, May 28 at 7:00 pm, LifeCare will begin with a short time of worship followed by the live filming of "The Call to Care: Developing Care & Support Ministries in the Local Church".
This 2-1/2-hour, Thurs. evening training is FREE!
Friday, May 29, starting at 6:30 pm, we will film
"The Call to Care: Volunteer Training".
This training will continue Saturday morning 9:15 am through 3:30/4pm.
The cost for this 2-day (Fri-Sat) event has been reduced to $40 per person.
In this training, you will learn:
-what a care & support ministry is and what it can offer
-effective leadership skills
-valuable skills related to caring for the emotional/ physical/ relational needs of others
-practical skills for genuine discipleship
-and much more.
The training will be conducted by the Founder/ Director of LifeCare Christian Center,
Lillian Easterly-Smith.
Please contact LifeCare at Info.LifeCareCC@gmail.com or
(734) 961-7950 to reserve your seat.
LifeCare meets at ROC Church, 16115 Beck Rd. (btw. 5 & 6 Mile), Northville.
Sanctuary Entrance.
We look forward to seeing you there.
In His Service,
The LifeCare Team
LifeCare Christian Center
Thursday, May 14, 2009
God's Garden in the Troubles of this Life
This morning I stayed in bed...overwhelmed with some aspects of my life that are very troubling and discouraging to me. I spent two hours thinking and thinking...hoping to fall asleep again...but continuing to think and pray...seeking God's perspective. Wearily singing "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" brought me to tears.
Many things ahead in this day will require me to be refreshed and renewed to be able to care for others, listen to the pain in others' hearts, and be able to be real with people in, hopefully, hopeful ways. But this life is hard, and I just want to run away. Faced with some "Why me?" questions in myself, I began to pray that my tears would not remain tears of self-pity. I know God is planting seeds in me, and in each member of my family, and in those around me. My prayer is that my tears would, instead, water God's beautiful, wonderfully-planned garden. He has a plan for me for good and not for calamity (Jeremiah 19.11). Digging up fallow ground in my life and pulling out the weeds prepares me for His seeds, but digging up the fallow ground and pulling weeds in those nearby also disturbs my own safe, secure space. Once the seeds go in the ground, then the rain comes...
Listen to these words from a song by Third Day called "When the Rain Comes":
When the rain comes
it seems that everyone has gone away
When the night falls
you wonder if you shouldn't find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away
When the rain comes
you blame it on the things that you have done
When the storm fades
you know that rain must fall on everyone
Rest awhile
it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do
When the rain comes
I will hold you"
Eventually, there will be beautiful fruit from those well-prepared and well-nourished seeds. For now, I will rest in the "Power of Your Love"...check it out by Rebecca St. James:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8LWGyuyny4
"Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I've found in You
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your spirit leads me on
By the Power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see you face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As you live in me
And Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the Power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love"
Many things ahead in this day will require me to be refreshed and renewed to be able to care for others, listen to the pain in others' hearts, and be able to be real with people in, hopefully, hopeful ways. But this life is hard, and I just want to run away. Faced with some "Why me?" questions in myself, I began to pray that my tears would not remain tears of self-pity. I know God is planting seeds in me, and in each member of my family, and in those around me. My prayer is that my tears would, instead, water God's beautiful, wonderfully-planned garden. He has a plan for me for good and not for calamity (Jeremiah 19.11). Digging up fallow ground in my life and pulling out the weeds prepares me for His seeds, but digging up the fallow ground and pulling weeds in those nearby also disturbs my own safe, secure space. Once the seeds go in the ground, then the rain comes...
Listen to these words from a song by Third Day called "When the Rain Comes":
When the rain comes
it seems that everyone has gone away
When the night falls
you wonder if you shouldn't find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away
When the rain comes
you blame it on the things that you have done
When the storm fades
you know that rain must fall on everyone
Rest awhile
it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do
When the rain comes
I will hold you"
Eventually, there will be beautiful fruit from those well-prepared and well-nourished seeds. For now, I will rest in the "Power of Your Love"...check it out by Rebecca St. James:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8LWGyuyny4
"Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I've found in You
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your spirit leads me on
By the Power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see you face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As you live in me
And Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the Power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love"
Friday, May 1, 2009
Misunderstanding God: The Deception of Success
Hannah Hurnard has been on my mind occasionally. Actually, since I read her first book, Hinds' Feet on High Places, a few years back, and then did some research on her life, I've been troubled by something. Her book, Hinds' Feet, (which has been on the best-seller list since it came out in 1955) is a beautiful allegory describing her amazing understanding of who God is and His relationship with us. This is one of my favorite books.
Unfortunately, her later books reveal that she moved more and more deeply into New Age thinking. What troubled me was how someone with such a beautiful understanding of God could become so deceived. Today, I finally just sat down and asked God, in general, about how someone can know Him so well and then become so deceived.
Various kings, who became deceived, came to mind.
Solomon: "...the Lord his God was with him and made him very powerful." By the end of his life, his wealth and prosperity allowed him to have anything he wanted...including wives that God told him not to marry..."they led his heart away from the Lord...they turned his heart to worship their gods instead of trusting in the Lord his God." "Then the Lord raised up...an enemy against Solomon." (2 Chronicles, 1.1; 1 Kings 11.3-4, 14)
"[Uzziah] did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight.... And as long as the king sought the Lord, God gave him success." "...the Lord helped him wonderfully until he became very powerful. But when he had become powerful, he also became proud, which led to his downfall." (2 Chronicles 26.4-5, 15-16)
They began to rest in their success, forgetting God, and God took His favor away. It is in our nature to trust in ourselves, but it seems like the deception of success is one thing that can more prominantly cause us to trust in ourselves.
Romans 1.18-24 says, "But God shows His anger from heaven against all sinful wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts. ...So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols.... So God let them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their hearts desired."
I don't know what it was that caused Hannah Hurnard to develop skewed and heretic views of God, but I do know we have an enemy who is seeking to deceive us ("Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5.8). Protect your heart, your mind, your life by remembering to keep your heart turned toward the true GOD. Know God's Word, worship Him and thank Him, as you surround yourself with solid believers who will remind you of the Truth.
Unfortunately, her later books reveal that she moved more and more deeply into New Age thinking. What troubled me was how someone with such a beautiful understanding of God could become so deceived. Today, I finally just sat down and asked God, in general, about how someone can know Him so well and then become so deceived.
Various kings, who became deceived, came to mind.
Solomon: "...the Lord his God was with him and made him very powerful." By the end of his life, his wealth and prosperity allowed him to have anything he wanted...including wives that God told him not to marry..."they led his heart away from the Lord...they turned his heart to worship their gods instead of trusting in the Lord his God." "Then the Lord raised up...an enemy against Solomon." (2 Chronicles, 1.1; 1 Kings 11.3-4, 14)
"[Uzziah] did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight.... And as long as the king sought the Lord, God gave him success." "...the Lord helped him wonderfully until he became very powerful. But when he had become powerful, he also became proud, which led to his downfall." (2 Chronicles 26.4-5, 15-16)
They began to rest in their success, forgetting God, and God took His favor away. It is in our nature to trust in ourselves, but it seems like the deception of success is one thing that can more prominantly cause us to trust in ourselves.
Romans 1.18-24 says, "But God shows His anger from heaven against all sinful wicked people who push the truth away from themselves. For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts. ...So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God. Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they became utter fools instead. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols.... So God let them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their hearts desired."
I don't know what it was that caused Hannah Hurnard to develop skewed and heretic views of God, but I do know we have an enemy who is seeking to deceive us ("Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5.8). Protect your heart, your mind, your life by remembering to keep your heart turned toward the true GOD. Know God's Word, worship Him and thank Him, as you surround yourself with solid believers who will remind you of the Truth.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
She talked about her love for Jesus
I was just praying this morning about my family. Thinking about how I only have a few summers left with Tim, maybe six with Adam and maybe seven with Allison. It's really not much time...and yet God doesn't need a whole lot of time to effect change and make an impact.
That thought took me back to my own childhood and the time I spent with my grandma, who had the biggest positive spiritual impact on me as a child. As I thought about what she did that drew my heart to God, I was a little surprised.
She taught kindergarten sunday school, and I went to her class (flannel-graphs and all) whenever I went to her church, but I don't remember ever doing any formal Bible study with her or receiving spiritual instruction from her. She didn't make sure I memorized verses and she didn't find a video for every issue that came up (eg, one on respect when I was disrespectful)...like I might tend to do occasionally.
Nothing wrong with those things, but it wasn't her approach. Jesus reached my heart through my grandma as she lived a life of love for Jesus in my presence. Although I don't remember her ever requiring it of me, each morning she would have her "Morning Devotions", and then through the day she would tell me when something she read applied to something we were experiencing in our day. Or she would tell me what she had talked to Jesus about. She talked about her love for Jesus, and I saw her love for Him as He was constantly on her mind and bringing joy to her face.
I remember making pudding (it was my job to either make pudding or jello for dessert while she made dinner) as she talked about Romans 10.13 being her favorite verse. She would say, "'Whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' I just love that verse. That's the verse I hang my hat on." ...she never wore a hat though...I guess it was hanging on that verse.
I think this is where I got my foundational ideas on discipleship. She invited me along as she lived her life in love with Jesus. It's not in a discipleship "class", 'though classes can be good. Discipleship that I learned from my grandma was her inviting me to come alongside her as she nurtured and cared for me, as I observed and she shared her deep love for Jesus, as she included me in ways she served others with a meal, a home visit, babysitting, delivering Avon orders, etc. Or sometimes she would just love me by taking me shopping, or getting a cozy, warm bubble bath ready for me, or painting my toe nails or putting "granny" make-up on my face.
I fell in love with her Jesus as she deeply loved Him and lovingly enjoyed me. I'm hoping for my own kids to experience that same.
That thought took me back to my own childhood and the time I spent with my grandma, who had the biggest positive spiritual impact on me as a child. As I thought about what she did that drew my heart to God, I was a little surprised.
She taught kindergarten sunday school, and I went to her class (flannel-graphs and all) whenever I went to her church, but I don't remember ever doing any formal Bible study with her or receiving spiritual instruction from her. She didn't make sure I memorized verses and she didn't find a video for every issue that came up (eg, one on respect when I was disrespectful)...like I might tend to do occasionally.
Nothing wrong with those things, but it wasn't her approach. Jesus reached my heart through my grandma as she lived a life of love for Jesus in my presence. Although I don't remember her ever requiring it of me, each morning she would have her "Morning Devotions", and then through the day she would tell me when something she read applied to something we were experiencing in our day. Or she would tell me what she had talked to Jesus about. She talked about her love for Jesus, and I saw her love for Him as He was constantly on her mind and bringing joy to her face.
I remember making pudding (it was my job to either make pudding or jello for dessert while she made dinner) as she talked about Romans 10.13 being her favorite verse. She would say, "'Whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.' I just love that verse. That's the verse I hang my hat on." ...she never wore a hat though...I guess it was hanging on that verse.
I think this is where I got my foundational ideas on discipleship. She invited me along as she lived her life in love with Jesus. It's not in a discipleship "class", 'though classes can be good. Discipleship that I learned from my grandma was her inviting me to come alongside her as she nurtured and cared for me, as I observed and she shared her deep love for Jesus, as she included me in ways she served others with a meal, a home visit, babysitting, delivering Avon orders, etc. Or sometimes she would just love me by taking me shopping, or getting a cozy, warm bubble bath ready for me, or painting my toe nails or putting "granny" make-up on my face.
I fell in love with her Jesus as she deeply loved Him and lovingly enjoyed me. I'm hoping for my own kids to experience that same.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Unidentified Baggage
She was well-dressed and well-groomed, ‘though I probably wouldn’t have noticed. She walked with a notable confidence, not entirely common of women exiting a waiting room bathroom.
I was engrossed in a book, my head lowered toward the pages, when my eyes glimpsed the bright white train flowing so freely from her heal as she passed in front of me. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so noticeable had it not been for the rather dark colored décor and adequate lighting of the orthodontist’s office.
Only one other person was in the room—a man obviously aware of the sight. I could tell he was aware because of his sudden stillness. He sat uncomfortably motionless as only his eyes inconspicuously followed the train. Then it happened. The train broke loose and sat in a bundle directly in front of him.
The woman disappeared and will likely never know her impact on her world, nor will she ever recognize the baggage she once dragged behind. But we’ll get to that thought in a bit.
The man in the room continued to sit quite uncomfortably. I was uncomfortable. There was tension in the room, but neither of us was willing to acknowledge the toilet paper…or each other for that matter. It was a bit more comfortable to pretend we knew nothing about the toilet paper.
Several people walked through the room, stepping around or over it. Eventually, a woman gracefully passed by, picked it up and threw it away. Amazingly, all the tension immediately left the room.
There are times when someone crosses our path with baggage so blatant that it makes everyone uncomfortable, except the person himself who is oblivious to it, but reacts to everyone with his, “What’s wrong with you?” attitude. I’m thinking of one man who has serious anger issues. He will behave with rude impatience with nearly every interaction and then respond to the stares around him with, “What’s your problem!?” He’s blind and clueless with no hope for change until he’s able to see his own toilet paper train.
Some toilet paper trains get left in the room leaving its witnesses uncomfortable…and sometimes wounded. People can leave a profound impact and never even realize the train they dragged behind.
As I continued to sit in the waiting room, writing these notes, a mom came in with her daughter. They sat down, but within a couple minutes, the daughter got up to get a magazine. Immediately, the mom said to her daughter, “Come here! You have a Band-Aid stuck on you.” The daughter, looking horrified, squealed, “Ew!!” and quickly pealed it off the leg of her pants.
When we’re able to see our baggage—our own toilet paper trains dragging behind us, or at least the impact our baggage has, then we’re finally able to address it and let God remove it from us.
I was engrossed in a book, my head lowered toward the pages, when my eyes glimpsed the bright white train flowing so freely from her heal as she passed in front of me. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so noticeable had it not been for the rather dark colored décor and adequate lighting of the orthodontist’s office.
Only one other person was in the room—a man obviously aware of the sight. I could tell he was aware because of his sudden stillness. He sat uncomfortably motionless as only his eyes inconspicuously followed the train. Then it happened. The train broke loose and sat in a bundle directly in front of him.
The woman disappeared and will likely never know her impact on her world, nor will she ever recognize the baggage she once dragged behind. But we’ll get to that thought in a bit.
The man in the room continued to sit quite uncomfortably. I was uncomfortable. There was tension in the room, but neither of us was willing to acknowledge the toilet paper…or each other for that matter. It was a bit more comfortable to pretend we knew nothing about the toilet paper.
Several people walked through the room, stepping around or over it. Eventually, a woman gracefully passed by, picked it up and threw it away. Amazingly, all the tension immediately left the room.
There are times when someone crosses our path with baggage so blatant that it makes everyone uncomfortable, except the person himself who is oblivious to it, but reacts to everyone with his, “What’s wrong with you?” attitude. I’m thinking of one man who has serious anger issues. He will behave with rude impatience with nearly every interaction and then respond to the stares around him with, “What’s your problem!?” He’s blind and clueless with no hope for change until he’s able to see his own toilet paper train.
Some toilet paper trains get left in the room leaving its witnesses uncomfortable…and sometimes wounded. People can leave a profound impact and never even realize the train they dragged behind.
As I continued to sit in the waiting room, writing these notes, a mom came in with her daughter. They sat down, but within a couple minutes, the daughter got up to get a magazine. Immediately, the mom said to her daughter, “Come here! You have a Band-Aid stuck on you.” The daughter, looking horrified, squealed, “Ew!!” and quickly pealed it off the leg of her pants.
When we’re able to see our baggage—our own toilet paper trains dragging behind us, or at least the impact our baggage has, then we’re finally able to address it and let God remove it from us.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
"Oh, man, I didn't see that coming!!"
Subtitled: "Shaken, not stirred."
I often get stirred up by various things. My spirit may stir and move me toward compassion. My emotions may get stirred up and move me toward looking at various aspects of truth or lies in my life...and finding God in the pursuit.
Sometimes my world gets "shaken" up and turned upside down. There are things I don't see coming, and I feel thrown off track or that the rug has been pulled out from under me. I'm facing one of those times now.
I thought of Joseph in the book of Genesis. I thought of how God had a plan to use Joseph in a mighty way. God even gave Joseph a vision when he was young of how God was going to use him. But then we see the jealousy of Joseph's brothers and how they intended to kill him and get him out of the picture by throwing him into a pit to die, but then chose, instead, to sell him into slavery.
Can you imagine God saying, "Oh, man, I didn't see that coming! I guess I'll have to find someone else and figure out another plan. It's hopeless for Joseph."
No way! God is not at all surprised by our circumstances. God certainly saw it coming and knew how to accomplish His plan both THROUGH Joseph and IN Joseph. But it required Joseph trusting God...and Joseph DID trust God. Many times it seemed the rug was pulled out from under Joseph, but God used each instance as a stepping stone toward the destination He intended.
That's the beauty of God. As I'm being shaken, and as I trust God's sovereignty, every time the rug gets pulled out from under me, God will use it as a stepping stone to move me along toward His beautiful destination for me.
I often get stirred up by various things. My spirit may stir and move me toward compassion. My emotions may get stirred up and move me toward looking at various aspects of truth or lies in my life...and finding God in the pursuit.
Sometimes my world gets "shaken" up and turned upside down. There are things I don't see coming, and I feel thrown off track or that the rug has been pulled out from under me. I'm facing one of those times now.
I thought of Joseph in the book of Genesis. I thought of how God had a plan to use Joseph in a mighty way. God even gave Joseph a vision when he was young of how God was going to use him. But then we see the jealousy of Joseph's brothers and how they intended to kill him and get him out of the picture by throwing him into a pit to die, but then chose, instead, to sell him into slavery.
Can you imagine God saying, "Oh, man, I didn't see that coming! I guess I'll have to find someone else and figure out another plan. It's hopeless for Joseph."
No way! God is not at all surprised by our circumstances. God certainly saw it coming and knew how to accomplish His plan both THROUGH Joseph and IN Joseph. But it required Joseph trusting God...and Joseph DID trust God. Many times it seemed the rug was pulled out from under Joseph, but God used each instance as a stepping stone toward the destination He intended.
That's the beauty of God. As I'm being shaken, and as I trust God's sovereignty, every time the rug gets pulled out from under me, God will use it as a stepping stone to move me along toward His beautiful destination for me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Seeking Relief in the Right Place
I was reading Dr. Kenya Ayers' blog this morning. She had an entry highlighted at her radio program website (http://www.relationshipsolutionsonline.com)...
July 29, 2008
When you Least Expect Him…
This was a timely message for me. She had gone to Cedar Point for a little retreat from life, and heard God speaking to her on one of the rides...
“This (meaning the Matterhorn ride) is what your life is like right now. It’s spinning wildly, you feel that you’ve lost control and you’re holding on for dear life. But it’s ok. Just like this ride will soon come to an end, so will this season in your life. Just hang on a little while longer and you’ll be fine.”
He's saying this to me now. I've been wrestling with stuff (in many different ways and with several different things) the last several days...and drawn to various ways to find 'relief' and comfort. We all have our ways...whether it's food, relationships, sleep, video games, etc. Life can feel a bit overwhelming at times, and I just want to find comfort and be rescued!!
As I was spending time with God about this yesterday morning, I think I opened my Bible and then fell asleep. When I woke up a few minutes later, my Bible was open to Ps. 69. Over and over, and all around that Psalm, David was pouring his heart out and pleading with God to save him, to come to him, to rescue him, to help him, to answer him, to pull him out of the mud, to take care of him, .... I had been feeling a bit guilty for wanting to be rescued and comforted (in my own ways), but God was speaking to me that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued and comforted...and David knew (at least at this point) the healthy place to turn for relief and comfort. God wants us to turn to Him to be our comfort and rescuer. Nothing else will be sufficient. His comfort may not exist in our timing, but it will come at the right time...and He will do what's good and best for us.
July 29, 2008
When you Least Expect Him…
This was a timely message for me. She had gone to Cedar Point for a little retreat from life, and heard God speaking to her on one of the rides...
“This (meaning the Matterhorn ride) is what your life is like right now. It’s spinning wildly, you feel that you’ve lost control and you’re holding on for dear life. But it’s ok. Just like this ride will soon come to an end, so will this season in your life. Just hang on a little while longer and you’ll be fine.”
He's saying this to me now. I've been wrestling with stuff (in many different ways and with several different things) the last several days...and drawn to various ways to find 'relief' and comfort. We all have our ways...whether it's food, relationships, sleep, video games, etc. Life can feel a bit overwhelming at times, and I just want to find comfort and be rescued!!
As I was spending time with God about this yesterday morning, I think I opened my Bible and then fell asleep. When I woke up a few minutes later, my Bible was open to Ps. 69. Over and over, and all around that Psalm, David was pouring his heart out and pleading with God to save him, to come to him, to rescue him, to help him, to answer him, to pull him out of the mud, to take care of him, .... I had been feeling a bit guilty for wanting to be rescued and comforted (in my own ways), but God was speaking to me that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued and comforted...and David knew (at least at this point) the healthy place to turn for relief and comfort. God wants us to turn to Him to be our comfort and rescuer. Nothing else will be sufficient. His comfort may not exist in our timing, but it will come at the right time...and He will do what's good and best for us.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Women of Grace conference
This past Saturday I had a small part in speaking at a Women of Grace (not to be confused with Women of Faith!...ha! ...maybe someday) conference. It was wonderful; a group of about 30 women (and one man...my friend, Pastor Tony, sat in on part of it). God was so intricately involved in it. Did I say it was wonderful? Hmmm.
Three of us spoke, one woman sang, and although we hadn't collaborated on a theme or what anyone was talking or singing about, God orchestrated and led each of us in a way that blended it all together quite beautifully. I was often moved to tears as I observed His hand in it all.
The first speaker, Dr. Kenya Ayres, shared a powerful message of authenticity, challenging us to "clean house" and get rid of the things we're holding onto (both physically and emotionally) that keep us bound in the past, maybe in our wounds, and keep us from moving on in the next step of the journey God has for us.
I spoke after lunch on "The Path to Freedom", acknowledging the natural ways we become hardened in a world that is hard on us. But Jesus calls us to something better, to having a soft heart in a hard world. I used biblical and personal examples, exhorting them to take their weariness and burdens to God daily and let him "ease and relieve and refresh our souls" (Matt. 11.28, AMP).
When the conf was over, as I was walking out of the sanctuary, I noticed two women who weren't there during the morning. One stopped me to thank me for what I had shared, saying that it was exactly what she needed to hear that day. She went on to say that her friend was right then getting my contact info from someone else b/c they want me to come talk at their church. She said I was "gifted, but just be confident." (Yes, not fully confident about the speaking thing yet, but God is growing me much!) When I mentioned not seeing her in the morning, she said she had just heard about the conf that morning, so she called her friend and they got ready and came from Inkster, just to be there for a couple hours in the afternoon.
I had so many people praying (thank you so much if you were one of them!!!). It mattered SOOOOO much!!! God kept me so peaceful through the whole event. He spoke through me, and He spoke to me. After the event, I went to a quiet place to think, pray and process what had occurred. The woman's comment about me being gifted in speaking resonated with me. There's much ambivalence in that thought. God gives me so much insight into things, ideas, His Word, life...that I want to share what He shows me. I've been given wonderful opportunities to do that through writing. But for some time now I've sensed a vocal message moving forward. In some ways that's exciting, and in many ways it freaks me out. Mostly, I want to move forward as He leads...and where He leads will be the perfect place.
Three of us spoke, one woman sang, and although we hadn't collaborated on a theme or what anyone was talking or singing about, God orchestrated and led each of us in a way that blended it all together quite beautifully. I was often moved to tears as I observed His hand in it all.
The first speaker, Dr. Kenya Ayres, shared a powerful message of authenticity, challenging us to "clean house" and get rid of the things we're holding onto (both physically and emotionally) that keep us bound in the past, maybe in our wounds, and keep us from moving on in the next step of the journey God has for us.
I spoke after lunch on "The Path to Freedom", acknowledging the natural ways we become hardened in a world that is hard on us. But Jesus calls us to something better, to having a soft heart in a hard world. I used biblical and personal examples, exhorting them to take their weariness and burdens to God daily and let him "ease and relieve and refresh our souls" (Matt. 11.28, AMP).
When the conf was over, as I was walking out of the sanctuary, I noticed two women who weren't there during the morning. One stopped me to thank me for what I had shared, saying that it was exactly what she needed to hear that day. She went on to say that her friend was right then getting my contact info from someone else b/c they want me to come talk at their church. She said I was "gifted, but just be confident." (Yes, not fully confident about the speaking thing yet, but God is growing me much!) When I mentioned not seeing her in the morning, she said she had just heard about the conf that morning, so she called her friend and they got ready and came from Inkster, just to be there for a couple hours in the afternoon.
I had so many people praying (thank you so much if you were one of them!!!). It mattered SOOOOO much!!! God kept me so peaceful through the whole event. He spoke through me, and He spoke to me. After the event, I went to a quiet place to think, pray and process what had occurred. The woman's comment about me being gifted in speaking resonated with me. There's much ambivalence in that thought. God gives me so much insight into things, ideas, His Word, life...that I want to share what He shows me. I've been given wonderful opportunities to do that through writing. But for some time now I've sensed a vocal message moving forward. In some ways that's exciting, and in many ways it freaks me out. Mostly, I want to move forward as He leads...and where He leads will be the perfect place.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I was at the park (of course) last week, pondering the idea that we tend to hide things in the dark where no one will see what would, we believe, feel shameful in the light. The song Marvelous Light was battling in my mind...it did not make sense.
"Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame"
...but, I was thinking, it's coming out of the darkness that would intensify the shame. And actually it can intensify the shame when it's brought out into the relatively dim light of the world.
Today at the park, in a huge tree there was one branch that appeared white against the backdrop of dark branches and lush green leaves. The branch was dead...appearing shameful in the light of the world with the overcast sky. There were no beams of light shining down on it. I just thought, in the night, in the darkness, it looks the same as all the other branches...no shame. However, had the sun shown through and beams of light shown down on it, it would have been a different sight.
Whatever is in the light is more noticeable,
yet the rays of the light itself provide beauty
...but also draw forth a new beauty that can only be seen when combined with the light...much like a rainbow.
I noticed the grass in the shade. I could see it, just existing by the light of the world. But as I looked over to where the morning sun's rays were illuminating the grass, the landscape sparkled with color and vitality and life...brightly exposed, yet every flaw and imperfection unnoticed by the beauty brought by the light.
The rain of shame that's drawn into or exposed by the light provides a "host" or catalyst for the light to shine through creating something new of awe and beauty.
"Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame"
...but, I was thinking, it's coming out of the darkness that would intensify the shame. And actually it can intensify the shame when it's brought out into the relatively dim light of the world.
Today at the park, in a huge tree there was one branch that appeared white against the backdrop of dark branches and lush green leaves. The branch was dead...appearing shameful in the light of the world with the overcast sky. There were no beams of light shining down on it. I just thought, in the night, in the darkness, it looks the same as all the other branches...no shame. However, had the sun shown through and beams of light shown down on it, it would have been a different sight.
Whatever is in the light is more noticeable,
yet the rays of the light itself provide beauty
...but also draw forth a new beauty that can only be seen when combined with the light...much like a rainbow.
I noticed the grass in the shade. I could see it, just existing by the light of the world. But as I looked over to where the morning sun's rays were illuminating the grass, the landscape sparkled with color and vitality and life...brightly exposed, yet every flaw and imperfection unnoticed by the beauty brought by the light.
The rain of shame that's drawn into or exposed by the light provides a "host" or catalyst for the light to shine through creating something new of awe and beauty.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
My 60-second Backyard Airport
This morning a little bird--not sure what kind it actually is--was pecking at the wood siding on my house and woke me up. I tried opening the window and tapping on the screen to scare it away, but to no avail. So I finally got dressed (intending to go outside to scare it away), but by then the tapping was gone. I stood by my bed looking out the window and waiting to hear it again, but what happened next was a wild sight.
Within about 30 seconds, my backyard had become an airport landing strip for everything in the area flying below 500 feet. Several arriving flights every second. By the end of the 30 seconds, I could see as much black on the ground as I could green in the grass. Then for the next 30 seconds, it was all departing flights...several every second. And my backyard was, just as quickly, completely green again.
Now, you're probably waiting for my typical spiritual application here. Ha! Well, I could, but my mind is at rest...and I don't want to wake it up...it doesn't rest like this very often. So for now, I will rest in the beauty, the fascination and the mystery of God and the flight of His creation.
Within about 30 seconds, my backyard had become an airport landing strip for everything in the area flying below 500 feet. Several arriving flights every second. By the end of the 30 seconds, I could see as much black on the ground as I could green in the grass. Then for the next 30 seconds, it was all departing flights...several every second. And my backyard was, just as quickly, completely green again.
Now, you're probably waiting for my typical spiritual application here. Ha! Well, I could, but my mind is at rest...and I don't want to wake it up...it doesn't rest like this very often. So for now, I will rest in the beauty, the fascination and the mystery of God and the flight of His creation.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Jesus Makes Lemonade
I've been having some trouble with my van battery dying overnight occasionally, but only twice before this past Sunday. On Sunday morning, though, Dave had gone to church early to lead music, so ten minutes before the service started, I packed the kids in the van and turned the key. Nothing happened...it was totally dead, again.
I told the kids, "Sorry, kids, we're not going to church. The van is dead, and by the time we get it charged, church will be over." So I got the battery charger out of the tool chest and gathered the kids around. I thought this would be a great opportunity to teach them something about auto mechanics. First I coached Adam in opening the hood. Then I showed them how to safely connect the cables to the battery and then plug it in. We watched the needle on the guage rise just a bit to indicate it was beginning to charge.
Then we came in the house and listened to a children's Bible teaching on CD, discussed it and then read the book of Philemon in our Bibles. Eventually, we all went back out to the garage and I gave each of them a job in disconnecting the charger, putting it away, closing the hood and starting the van. It started.
I thought later about this story and was pleased that I had found the opportunity for good that was in a potentially frustrating situation. Actually, I was very excited. I have spent so much of my life being frustrated about the things that didn't work out how I wanted, and here I was taking the lemons that I was getting in life, and I was making lemonade...seeing how they can be used for good.
Then it occurred to me, that's what Jesus does. When He lets us know through Paul in Romans 8.28 that He will cause "everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them", He is letting us know that when something sours our lives from the lemons that are pouring in, He will make lemonade...He will make something refreshing and good.
I told the kids, "Sorry, kids, we're not going to church. The van is dead, and by the time we get it charged, church will be over." So I got the battery charger out of the tool chest and gathered the kids around. I thought this would be a great opportunity to teach them something about auto mechanics. First I coached Adam in opening the hood. Then I showed them how to safely connect the cables to the battery and then plug it in. We watched the needle on the guage rise just a bit to indicate it was beginning to charge.
Then we came in the house and listened to a children's Bible teaching on CD, discussed it and then read the book of Philemon in our Bibles. Eventually, we all went back out to the garage and I gave each of them a job in disconnecting the charger, putting it away, closing the hood and starting the van. It started.
I thought later about this story and was pleased that I had found the opportunity for good that was in a potentially frustrating situation. Actually, I was very excited. I have spent so much of my life being frustrated about the things that didn't work out how I wanted, and here I was taking the lemons that I was getting in life, and I was making lemonade...seeing how they can be used for good.
Then it occurred to me, that's what Jesus does. When He lets us know through Paul in Romans 8.28 that He will cause "everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them", He is letting us know that when something sours our lives from the lemons that are pouring in, He will make lemonade...He will make something refreshing and good.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Hannah's Relief
I was reading this morning about Hannah at the beginning of the book of 1 Samuel. For the past two years, God has consistently pursued me with a "Come to Me" message. He's taught me much using Matthew 11.28 (AMP),
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]"
If we go to God with our stuff, all that stuff that makes us feel weary and overburdened, and we leave it with Him, then our souls should be eased, relieved and refreshed. If I walk away from that time with God and the result is not ease and relief and refreshment, then I've either not left all my burdens with him or there's something I've taken back.
I was reading this morning about Hannah at the beginning of the book of 1 Samuel. I was struck by the way she lived out, in Old Testament times, this New Testament verse. God is still God in both places.
Hannah's husband, Elkanah, had another wife as well. The other wife had children, but Hannah was barren. The other wife "made fun of Hannah because the Lord had closed her womb. Year after year it was the same--[the other wife] would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Hannah would finally be reduced to tears and would not even eat" (1 Sam. 1.6-7, NLT).
While in the Tabernacle, Hannah prayed to the Lord. 1 Sam. 1.10, 12-18 says:
"Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord."
"As she was praying to the Lord, Eli [the priest] watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. 'Must you come here drunk?' he demanded. 'Throw away your wine!'
"'Oh no, sir!' she replied, 'I'm not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Please don't think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.'
"'In that case,' Eli said, 'cheer up! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.'
"'Oh, thank you, sir!' she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad."
Aside from the interesting encounter with the priest, I was thrilled to see Hannah's example of Matthew 11.28. She was weary and overburdened, having been mocked and harshly treated by her husband's other wife. So Hannah, saddened and unable to even eat, took her weariness and burdens to God...and left them with Him. After she poured it all out to Him, she left the burdens with God and was eased and relieved and refreshed as "she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad." What is most interesting is that nothing in her circumstances had changed at that point. She was still barren and probably saw no change in the other wife's mocking.
Verse 19a goes on to say that "The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah."
Hannah continued to worship God regardless of her circumstances.
And verses 19b-20 say, "When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her request, and in due time she gave birth to a son."
God does take care of us. We must leave our burdens with Him and trust Him with the outcome.
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]"
If we go to God with our stuff, all that stuff that makes us feel weary and overburdened, and we leave it with Him, then our souls should be eased, relieved and refreshed. If I walk away from that time with God and the result is not ease and relief and refreshment, then I've either not left all my burdens with him or there's something I've taken back.
I was reading this morning about Hannah at the beginning of the book of 1 Samuel. I was struck by the way she lived out, in Old Testament times, this New Testament verse. God is still God in both places.
Hannah's husband, Elkanah, had another wife as well. The other wife had children, but Hannah was barren. The other wife "made fun of Hannah because the Lord had closed her womb. Year after year it was the same--[the other wife] would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Hannah would finally be reduced to tears and would not even eat" (1 Sam. 1.6-7, NLT).
While in the Tabernacle, Hannah prayed to the Lord. 1 Sam. 1.10, 12-18 says:
"Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord."
"As she was praying to the Lord, Eli [the priest] watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. 'Must you come here drunk?' he demanded. 'Throw away your wine!'
"'Oh no, sir!' she replied, 'I'm not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Please don't think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.'
"'In that case,' Eli said, 'cheer up! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.'
"'Oh, thank you, sir!' she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad."
Aside from the interesting encounter with the priest, I was thrilled to see Hannah's example of Matthew 11.28. She was weary and overburdened, having been mocked and harshly treated by her husband's other wife. So Hannah, saddened and unable to even eat, took her weariness and burdens to God...and left them with Him. After she poured it all out to Him, she left the burdens with God and was eased and relieved and refreshed as "she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad." What is most interesting is that nothing in her circumstances had changed at that point. She was still barren and probably saw no change in the other wife's mocking.
Verse 19a goes on to say that "The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah."
Hannah continued to worship God regardless of her circumstances.
And verses 19b-20 say, "When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her request, and in due time she gave birth to a son."
God does take care of us. We must leave our burdens with Him and trust Him with the outcome.
Monday, September 22, 2008
What happens when you blow it?
Last night, in our first meeting with our new couples group, we began a video study using "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat." The first chapter dealt with fear of failure and our interpretation of failure. Ha! Could I relate, or what?!? (Normally, I would hide in fear and shame regarding my "failure", but God is growing me even now....)
Last week I had a perfect "failure" story, so I shared my story at our couples group. I had been in a practice session for a training course I've been doing. It was my turn to facilitate, and without going into all the detail here, after struggling through the first few minutes, I just blew it. I turned to our leader in "defeat" to quietly utter the words that have seldom ever come from my mouth: "I can't do this." As soon as I said it, the thoughts that filled my head were, "You are a failure. You are such a failure."
But recognizing that not all my thoughts are my own, I didn't entirely succomb to defeat. But rather, as we processed through what happened, I became encouraged by the words of each of the six others in the room...by their support, their helpful thoughts, and their encouragement that I had accomplished the beginning, and now I can just move on from there.
Afterward, I went home, and when my husband asked how my night was, all I could say in that moment was, "It was what it needed to be." I knew even then that God was doing something to transform me...and He was using this (and was going to use this) for good...much good.
My story encouraged the others in our couples group to rethink their own definitions of failure.
This morning, God was revealing to me that I needed to blow it last week. More than succeeding, I needed to experience the love and acceptance that would be poured out on me...even when I blew it, when I was grossly imperfect and failed by human standards. The response I received was healing and beautiful. And I certainly don't feel 'quite' as much pressure now to do it perfectly. I may still be quite lacking even next time, but I suppose I don't have to accomplish a whole lot to show improvement. :)
Anyway, it was what it needed to be.
Each of the others in the room last week was a tool that God used beautifully to bring a bit more healing into my life.
Last week I had a perfect "failure" story, so I shared my story at our couples group. I had been in a practice session for a training course I've been doing. It was my turn to facilitate, and without going into all the detail here, after struggling through the first few minutes, I just blew it. I turned to our leader in "defeat" to quietly utter the words that have seldom ever come from my mouth: "I can't do this." As soon as I said it, the thoughts that filled my head were, "You are a failure. You are such a failure."
But recognizing that not all my thoughts are my own, I didn't entirely succomb to defeat. But rather, as we processed through what happened, I became encouraged by the words of each of the six others in the room...by their support, their helpful thoughts, and their encouragement that I had accomplished the beginning, and now I can just move on from there.
Afterward, I went home, and when my husband asked how my night was, all I could say in that moment was, "It was what it needed to be." I knew even then that God was doing something to transform me...and He was using this (and was going to use this) for good...much good.
My story encouraged the others in our couples group to rethink their own definitions of failure.
This morning, God was revealing to me that I needed to blow it last week. More than succeeding, I needed to experience the love and acceptance that would be poured out on me...even when I blew it, when I was grossly imperfect and failed by human standards. The response I received was healing and beautiful. And I certainly don't feel 'quite' as much pressure now to do it perfectly. I may still be quite lacking even next time, but I suppose I don't have to accomplish a whole lot to show improvement. :)
Anyway, it was what it needed to be.
Each of the others in the room last week was a tool that God used beautifully to bring a bit more healing into my life.
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