Opposition or Acceptance

I've been opposed at times in an attempt to be changed. I've also opposed others in an attempt to change them. I've found that it doesn't work. The times I've been most aware of my need to change and been the most humbled and ready for change are the times that I've been unconditionally accepted and known that I was loved deeply.

The Bible says that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." I heard that verse used as justification for opposing me when someone has seen something in me that they don't think is right. In those times, the opposition has been harsh and I dig my heals in and tend to fight back.

It's interesting that I don't see God opposing me in those times. I think what that verse means is that there are some with hearts that are hardened in arrogance to seek their own way. There are others who have been so hurt that they build a wall of protection around their heart. The appearance can look very similar, but God is able to discern the difference and approach the arrogance with opposition and the wall with tender compassion that allows that person to lower the wall and humbly receive the tender, accepting, compassion.

My natural tendency, when I feel negatively impacted by someone, is to oppose them. Yet, I know that it's acceptance that draws me to see what's lacking in myself. When I'm loved really well, I see how much I fall short in loving well, and it humbles me and melts my heart. As Kari Jobe sings, "This love is so deep; it's more than I can stand. I melt in Your peace; it's overwhelming."*



*from the song, "The More I Seek You"

Are You Sovereign?

I've been noticing a tendency in myself lately that where I see wrong, I feel a need to attack it, especially when it impacts my kids.

I started wondering what the story of Joseph would have looked like in Genesis 38-50 if I would have been Joseph's mother. If you haven't read the story, go read it now so you have the context.

If I would have been Joseph's mother...

• I would have gotten family counseling for our blended family issues.
• I would have pursued discipline for the brothers.
• I would have cautioned Joseph to try not to sound like he's bragging.
• I would have had my husband get some sort of coats for his other sons.
• I would have had Joseph's brothers take me to the scene of the crime.
• If I would have found out that he was sold into slavery, I would have followed the trade route into the city, with a sketch of my son, hired detectives if necessary, and found him.
• I would have either sought to buy him out of slavery OR hired a good lawyer to get him back, whether he was still living in the palace or in prison by now.
• I would have fought against Potiphar and/or Pharaoh to whatever extent I could come up with resources to fight.
• If I couldn't get him out of prison, I would have been praying AND strategizing every day, and visiting him daily.

My life would have been given to preserving his life, ...and everyone would have seen it as noble.
...and maybe that is all fine and the right thing to do.

But the real question comes down to: do I have my faith in God's sovereignty or my own? That's a question only God and the heart know the answer to.

Even when Joseph had no human to take up his defense, he still had God's sovereignty. He trusted that God could use anything for good, even in the midst of complete chaos and destruction. And because of Joseph's faith in God's sovereignty, he was able to see God create beauty from chaos.

Where do we have our faith? ...in God's sovereignty or our own?