Hannah's Relief

I was reading this morning about Hannah at the beginning of the book of 1 Samuel. For the past two years, God has consistently pursued me with a "Come to Me" message. He's taught me much using Matthew 11.28 (AMP),

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]"

If we go to God with our stuff, all that stuff that makes us feel weary and overburdened, and we leave it with Him, then our souls should be eased, relieved and refreshed. If I walk away from that time with God and the result is not ease and relief and refreshment, then I've either not left all my burdens with him or there's something I've taken back.

I was reading this morning about Hannah at the beginning of the book of 1 Samuel. I was struck by the way she lived out, in Old Testament times, this New Testament verse. God is still God in both places.

Hannah's husband, Elkanah, had another wife as well. The other wife had children, but Hannah was barren. The other wife "made fun of Hannah because the Lord had closed her womb. Year after year it was the same--[the other wife] would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Hannah would finally be reduced to tears and would not even eat" (1 Sam. 1.6-7, NLT).

While in the Tabernacle, Hannah prayed to the Lord. 1 Sam. 1.10, 12-18 says:

"Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord."

"As she was praying to the Lord, Eli [the priest] watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. 'Must you come here drunk?' he demanded. 'Throw away your wine!'
"'Oh no, sir!' she replied, 'I'm not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Please don't think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.'
"'In that case,' Eli said, 'cheer up! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.'
"'Oh, thank you, sir!' she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad."

Aside from the interesting encounter with the priest, I was thrilled to see Hannah's example of Matthew 11.28. She was weary and overburdened, having been mocked and harshly treated by her husband's other wife. So Hannah, saddened and unable to even eat, took her weariness and burdens to God...and left them with Him. After she poured it all out to Him, she left the burdens with God and was eased and relieved and refreshed as "she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad." What is most interesting is that nothing in her circumstances had changed at that point. She was still barren and probably saw no change in the other wife's mocking.

Verse 19a goes on to say that "The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah."

Hannah continued to worship God regardless of her circumstances.

And verses 19b-20 say, "When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her request, and in due time she gave birth to a son."

God does take care of us. We must leave our burdens with Him and trust Him with the outcome.

What happens when you blow it?

Last night, in our first meeting with our new couples group, we began a video study using "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat." The first chapter dealt with fear of failure and our interpretation of failure. Ha! Could I relate, or what?!? (Normally, I would hide in fear and shame regarding my "failure", but God is growing me even now....)

Last week I had a perfect "failure" story, so I shared my story at our couples group. I had been in a practice session for a training course I've been doing. It was my turn to facilitate, and without going into all the detail here, after struggling through the first few minutes, I just blew it. I turned to our leader in "defeat" to quietly utter the words that have seldom ever come from my mouth: "I can't do this." As soon as I said it, the thoughts that filled my head were, "You are a failure. You are such a failure."

But recognizing that not all my thoughts are my own, I didn't entirely succomb to defeat. But rather, as we processed through what happened, I became encouraged by the words of each of the six others in the room...by their support, their helpful thoughts, and their encouragement that I had accomplished the beginning, and now I can just move on from there.

Afterward, I went home, and when my husband asked how my night was, all I could say in that moment was, "It was what it needed to be." I knew even then that God was doing something to transform me...and He was using this (and was going to use this) for good...much good.

My story encouraged the others in our couples group to rethink their own definitions of failure.

This morning, God was revealing to me that I needed to blow it last week. More than succeeding, I needed to experience the love and acceptance that would be poured out on me...even when I blew it, when I was grossly imperfect and failed by human standards. The response I received was healing and beautiful. And I certainly don't feel 'quite' as much pressure now to do it perfectly. I may still be quite lacking even next time, but I suppose I don't have to accomplish a whole lot to show improvement. :)

Anyway, it was what it needed to be.

Each of the others in the room last week was a tool that God used beautifully to bring a bit more healing into my life.

Detox for Intimacy with God

I went to the park this morning to be with God (undistracted, alone and quiet)...something I've neglected for the most part this summer. I got absorbed into the routine of having the kids home for the summer and didn't prioritize regular, quality time with God. I would say that this summer I experienced God, for the most part, as an acquaintance...lacking depth and intimacy. And because of it, I was recognizing hungers developing in me...not necessarily for Him, but because I need Him.

Beth Moore has said, "3 months outside the Word is roughly 2 1/2 months inside a pit." I get that. For me personally, I need an ongoing dialogue with God to stay out of the pit. Although I certainly didn't completely forsake time with Him this summer, it was seldom intimate time. It was more like the kind of relationship you develop when you run into your neighbor each week at the grocery store. It lacks depth, so although I wasn't inside that pit, sometimes I was holding on for dear life at the top edge while my feet dangled over the edge and against the wall of the pit. Not the most enjoyable place to be.

So this morning, knowing I needed to re-connect with Him, I wanted it quickly, just like much of the rest of my life tends to be...getting things accomplished as quickly as possible. But...
GOD IS NOT GOD ON OUR TERMS!
God becomes just another god when we come to Him on our terms.

I couldn't just grab a quick fix like I would at the McDonald's drive-thru. He wants my heart so that He can give me His...so that He can be all that I need.

I recognized my need for DETOX time from all the burdens, trials, concerns, accusations, struggles, etc. that had been building or been heaped on me all summer. I could see that in order to connect well with Him, I needed to DETOX:

• Deliberate - sit quietly in His presence
• Explore what's on your mind and in your heart (needs, burdens, joys, weariness, ...)
• Tell Him about each thing that comes to mind
• Overrule the burdens by leaving them in His presence (Matthew 11.28)
• eXpress to Him your gratitude for taking on your burdens (Philippians 4.6)

When I give up my weariness for Him to carry, then I'll finally be able to start hearing Him again and it will build deeper intimacy in our relationship.

So now as I'm detoxing and feeling so much freer, I sense a renewed life coming on. It's wonderful. I highly recommend this detox program!!

:)