? - sufficiency

I feel like, with the increased family demands that summer brings, I'm moving toward self-sufficiency...not a good thing. Time with God gets squeezed out as we all stay up later and sleep in longer...and yet I still need to get the kids up at a reasonable hour, but I sleep till that time.

So my time with God gets "postponed" till...well, maybe the next day??? ...and my reliance on God gets replaced with reliance on me.

Our flesh (and our enemy) would cause us to ask, "So what's wrong with self-reliance?" It sounds rather noble, non-imposing, strong.... But, we're often lulled into the belief that we can handle whatever life throws at us...and that limits us tremendously. God created us to do amazing works which we cannot do apart from Him...including having truly successful parenting and family lives, ministries, etc.

I know God has moved me, in recent years, out of living in the realm of possibility and into the realm of impossibility...and my attempts to accomplish my purpose apart from reliance on Him will fail...I will fail without God-reliance.

He's my most satisfying relationship in this life. Without it, I am lost and floundering and trying to fill an ache and emptiness in my soul.

I was stunned last night as I picked up my Jesus Calling book and was confronted. I read June 22 (b/c I didn't know what day it was):

"Thank Me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in My Face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about My treatment of you."

The word "rebellion" startled me. What? Not me. However, as I looked closely at my heart, I saw hints of growing self-sufficiency as I lacked quality time with Him...looking for and entertaining ideas of how to resolve my troublesome issues with comfortable solutions.

The text goes on to say (about complaining), "But once you step over that line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away. The best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving. It is impossible to thank Me and curse Me at the same time.

"Thanking Me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My Presence, which overshadows all your problems. (Ps. 116.17 and Php. 4.4-6)."

Still looking for a bit of relief, :/ I opened up Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest: May 23. "Careful Infidelity". Again, what?? He says worry = infidelity.

Matthew 6.25 describes how when we are worried about "the cares of the world", it chokes out the Word that God puts in us. He says, "...worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the practical details of our lives."

Troubles. This world is full of them...and they impact my life. I want to run away to safety. But He says He's overcome the troubles (Jn. 16.33). Lord, give me tenacity, perseverance, faith that You are in the middle of this...and that I will find You as I dig in to the middle of the things I want to run and find safety from.

"Would you like to get well?"

Jesus saw the lame man lying next to the healing pool. I guess I'd probably ask the same question if I had the power to heal, even though I already knew why the man was there. But there is something deeper in the question. There is responsibility in being healed.

Let me be clear! There are certainly many times when our health (physical, emotional, mental) is NOT a result of our own choices and actions. But there ARE times, more than we think, when it is.

For example, if you're living a life that is not at peace, but is, instead, consumed with stress because you think you have to perform at a certain level, you are inflicting your body with abuse by elevating safe levels of cortisol in your body, and sustained, it will have devastating effects on your health. Let's use this example....

Many of us often live in that state of stress or 'unhealth' while (I suppose, hopefully) routinely returning to Jesus to ask forgiveness for our behavior...for neglecting Him, neglecting our families, etc. Unfortunately, we end up returning again and again with the same confession, the same "stuck in a rut" sin, and the same "I don't know how to get free of this problem". And we keep running back to Him with our confession...sometimes in shame.

I've noticed, though, that when there's healing that's needed, Jesus doesn't necessarily confront people and ask them to stop sinning first. He heals them FIRST. But His question, whether we hear it or not, is always, "Would you like to get well?" If our answer, or our attitude, is "No", He won't force His healing on us. And when we keep returning to Him, He will keep forgiving us.

After He healed the lame man at the healing pool, Jesus disappeared into the crowd, but then later "Jesus found [the man] in the Temple and told him, 'Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.'" (John 5.1-15)

We have the choice to keep asking for God's forgiveness (and in many areas of our lives, we can rest in this beauty of His love), and in His amazing grace, over and over He extends that amazing grace to us...the grace that was made possible by His costly sacrifice on the cross. We would be hopeless without it. But in some areas of our lives, there is freedom awaiting us so that we don't have to continue in our routine sin or 'unhealth'. We can pursue His healing...IF we would like to get well.

Going back to the stress example, to get to healing, we would have to be willing to look at what's "driving" us to perform at that stressful level...and seek His healing in that place. And there is freedom there for you and those around you.

Feel free to ask me about some options if your answer to the question is "Yes."