Like a Child

Jesus' disciples were arguing. First, I find it comforting that the people He chose to be closest to Himself were clearly imperfect and had issues. I can relate...and could fit in there.

Their argument in Matthew 18 was about which of the disciples was the greatest. Have you noticed any friends of yours that do that too? Have you had that competitive edge yourself? I do at times. As I thought about where that comes from, I thought there must be a sense of insignificance that drives us to compete in this way. Somehow, we must not be fully accepting and resting in the significance given to us by the God of the universe, our own Creator.

Jesus' response to the disciples' argument was to bring a child to stand in front of them, stating, (as Beth Moore puts it) "You want to see my idea of greatness? Take a look at this child."

Now I'm wondering, what was it about a child that made him/her great? Some possibilities I thought of were:

• unquestioning faith
• uninhibited intimacy
• authenticity...they're real...they haven't learned to feel one way and act another (and be passive/aggressive or wear a mask...)
• confidence in another's love (they don't need to compete for love; they trust it)
• A TENDER HEART

I was most struck by the last one. I think it's a tender heart that allows all the other things.

What would you add to this list? I'm curious to hear some replies.

Peace, Not War

Last night, the Lord brought to mind the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" as I re-read my last blog and the verse at the end. He was allowing me to see that I had been fighting hard against the enemy, and yet He wanted to bring me peace. There are times when we need to fight...and fight hard...and there are other times when we think we have to fight, but we really don't because He's already won. He was reminding me that this particular time was "a time to wage peace, not war" and to rest in the victory that He's already gained.

I was enjoying some peaceful worship time this morning as I joined Chris Tomlin in a chorus of "How can I keep from singing". It spoke to me in many ways today, but everytime I hear it, one particular line melts my heart: "I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing." And not only that, but I am (and you are too) loved by Him so much that He sings over you and me.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NKJV)
"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

January 12th Birthdays

Today, January 12th, I'm celebrating the birthday of two people in my life: my friend Monika and my friend Candi. Both of these women have impacted my life deeply with their faith, hope and love.

Today, I'm also being impacted by a different type of birth. God let me know many, many months ago that I was to write a workbook on the topic of FEAR. I wasn't sure why at the time...and I really didn't feel qualified, although I knew people I could consult, so I was agreeable to the task. Since then, God has revealed some truth to me about my own life...that fear exists in it. I think it's interesting that we can live in such a state of self-unawareness! So I rolled with the increasing insight into my own life, and I've been working through my fear-related issues and taking a lot of notes (for my own remembrance AND for the book), and I believe I've been learning and growing much in this area.

Yesterday, however, I told God that I was ready to be done with this issue. That I really didn't want to write this book. And that I'm okay to...to just...not grow in this area anymore...that I've grown quite a bit...and it's all good, but I can be done now. :) I reemphasized to Him that I really didn't want to write the book!

I don't think God and I were necessarily on the same page....

Earlier today, I was listening to a dvd from Dan Allender's conference. Dan talked about Abraham [known as Abram at the time] being called by God out of the comfortable and affluent society (Ur) in which he lived, and into an unspecified other place. According to Halley's Bible Handbook, "Just preceding the time of Abraham, it was the most magnificent city in all the world" (88). And then during Abraham's time, it remained an important city alongside Babylon. By societal standards, Ur was definitely the place to be!

But, as is often the case, God had a different plan and a differing idea of "the place to be". In Genesis 12.1, "The Lord had said to Abram, 'Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you.'" I'm guessing my response would have been something like, "But I am comfortable and secure right where I am. I already know there's nothing better on all the earth." But Abraham, being the [albeit flawed...just as I am] father of faith, left his comfort and security to just...go...not even knowing where he was going.

I was struck with this idea of leaving comfort and security and going wherever God leads, not yet knowing where that is. It hit home as we have just recently become convinced that it is time to leave our current church and continue on a journey. I'm stunned at how much insecurity gets stirred up in me with not knowing where I/we will end up.

God had revealed fears in me that I didn't know existed. And now I was ready to be done with the revelation and teaching...figuring He had taught me enough. Ha! He's committed to me, for better or worse. And He has reminded me that He is committed to seeing me through my fears, including the fear of writing this workbook ...on Fear.

So His reminder is like a new birth for me. It's a recommitment to the journey He has for me.

Lamentations 3:22-24 says,
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"

I will wait for Him...because His compassions are new every morning, and He is faithful. He provides each day as a new birthday.

Hope

I was just glancing at Matthew 21...Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem.
The people were celebrating...anticipating that this was their time for
deliverance. Those filled with hope had no idea that their hope was about
to be crushed literally to death. As I linger in that moment...those two or
three days where the hope was crushed and there is much confusion and
uncertainty and maybe even a sense of hopelessness for some, there's
heaviness...grieving...a passionate desire for things to be different. Then
suddenly death is transformed into life that has more depth and meaning and
hope than it could have ever contained before.

Recently, I've felt like I've been in those two or three days...in various ways. In one situation...where there had once been celebration, I feel death; in another...where I
was experiencing (and seeing) so much connection (and transformation) with
people, now the circumstances have changed...more grieving.
I'm anticipating and I sense (and I hope I sense correctly) that this death
that I feel will suddenly be "transformed into life that has more depth and
meaning and hope than it could have ever contained before."

We must hold onto that hope. Ours is a God who brings life out of death!