I was driving to the swamp for some quality prayer time the other day. It was soon after sunrise, and as I drove, I noticed the rays of the early morning sun casting a haze ahead of me. The sun's rays reminded me that the rays of the SON of God are always shining down on me.
It compelled me to ask myself, "Am I allowing the rays of the Son to penetrate my whole being? Or am I, in some way, using SON BLOCK?" May it never be! May the Son always penetrate all of me.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
...like my van refusing gas
I've spent the past three days entirely consumed with proofing two workbooks (over 300 pages) before they go to print. Proofing doesn't mean I just look them over...it requires examining every detail, every space and tiny mark on every page as well as the content and flow of content, etc. It drains me.
I woke up this morning, and before my eyes were even open, I felt the emptiness and began praying out of desperation, hating that excruciating empty feeling, begging God to fill me.
Well, I dragged myself out of bed and got the kids off to school. I got home and just felt a numbness toward life...a feeling I also hate. I knew I needed help...I needed God. I collapsed on my bed and tried to pray a bit, but still felt empty words and numbness. I found notes I had written yesterday from one of the workbooks about Samuel being called by God. I remembered being moved by the story, and I prayed the words Samuel spoke when he first heard God's voice:
"Speak. I'm your servant, ready to listen."
Actually, my prayer was more like this:
"I'm so empty from pouring myself out for CarePoint. 'Speak. I'm your servant, ready to listen.' I want to bring you glory, Lord. What do you want me to do?"
He answered quickly:
"I want you to stop working today...and REST. Let Me just love you. Let ME make you ALIVE.
My brain is sometimes hard to slow down though, thinking...
"I need to get something out of 'this'."
or
"How can I speak life into the situation I'll face...today...tonight...tomorrow...whenever?"
But I rested, and listened, and heard Him soothe me, and felt Him fill me...as I listened to Travis Cottrell (Beth Moore's worship leader) speak songs of truth and beauty into my soul.
How often I have missed the "filling" though and kept trying to serve Him and please Him. It occurred to me that refusing to rest and let Him fill me is like driving into a gas station and my van insisting on continuing to serve me but refusing to let me fill its gas tank. It can't serve me without allowing me to fill it. We can't serve God without allowing Him to fill us.
Like Beth Moore says:
Empty yourself in giving everything you've got, and then run to him to get filled up again.
I woke up this morning, and before my eyes were even open, I felt the emptiness and began praying out of desperation, hating that excruciating empty feeling, begging God to fill me.
Well, I dragged myself out of bed and got the kids off to school. I got home and just felt a numbness toward life...a feeling I also hate. I knew I needed help...I needed God. I collapsed on my bed and tried to pray a bit, but still felt empty words and numbness. I found notes I had written yesterday from one of the workbooks about Samuel being called by God. I remembered being moved by the story, and I prayed the words Samuel spoke when he first heard God's voice:
"Speak. I'm your servant, ready to listen."
Actually, my prayer was more like this:
"I'm so empty from pouring myself out for CarePoint. 'Speak. I'm your servant, ready to listen.' I want to bring you glory, Lord. What do you want me to do?"
He answered quickly:
"I want you to stop working today...and REST. Let Me just love you. Let ME make you ALIVE.
My brain is sometimes hard to slow down though, thinking...
"I need to get something out of 'this'."
or
"How can I speak life into the situation I'll face...today...tonight...tomorrow...whenever?"
But I rested, and listened, and heard Him soothe me, and felt Him fill me...as I listened to Travis Cottrell (Beth Moore's worship leader) speak songs of truth and beauty into my soul.
How often I have missed the "filling" though and kept trying to serve Him and please Him. It occurred to me that refusing to rest and let Him fill me is like driving into a gas station and my van insisting on continuing to serve me but refusing to let me fill its gas tank. It can't serve me without allowing me to fill it. We can't serve God without allowing Him to fill us.
Like Beth Moore says:
Empty yourself in giving everything you've got, and then run to him to get filled up again.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Does God hear you?
How do you know if God hears you?
Some think that God hears only when His answer is "yes" to the things we ask. Others think he always hears us.
I was reading in Hebrews 5 this morning and was particularly struck by verse 7:
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
This tells me:
1. God hears us when we live out reverent submission to Him.
2. When God hears us, His answer will not necessarily be "yes."
3. When God's answer is not "yes," we must trust that He has a greater purpose, a greater glory in the "no" or the "wait."
Some think that God hears only when His answer is "yes" to the things we ask. Others think he always hears us.
I was reading in Hebrews 5 this morning and was particularly struck by verse 7:
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission."
This tells me:
1. God hears us when we live out reverent submission to Him.
2. When God hears us, His answer will not necessarily be "yes."
3. When God's answer is not "yes," we must trust that He has a greater purpose, a greater glory in the "no" or the "wait."
Friday, September 7, 2007
Mosquito chronicles
So, back to my enemy, the mosquito.... My son tells me that it's only the female mosquitos that bite (I suppose that stands to reason).
Anyway, I was reading in Nehemiah 4:11-21 (NLT). Listen to this:
11Our enemies said, "They will not know or see until we come among them, kill them and put a stop to the work."
12When the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times, "They will come up against us from every place where you may turn,"
13then I stationed men in the lowest parts of the space behind the wall, the exposed places, and I stationed the people in families with their swords, spears and bows.
14When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: "Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses."
15When our enemies heard that it was known to us, and that God had frustrated their plan, then all of us returned to the wall, each one to his work.
16From that day on, half of my servants carried on the work while half of them held the spears, the shields, the bows and the breastplates; and the captains were behind the whole house of Judah.
17Those who were rebuilding the wall and those who carried burdens took their load with one hand doing the work and the other holding a weapon.
18As for the builders, each wore his sword girded at his side as he built, while the trumpeter stood near me.
19I said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "The work is great and extensive, and we are separated on the wall far from one another.
20"At whatever place you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us."
21So we carried on the work with half of them holding spears from dawn until the stars appeared.
What stands out about this for me is that they knew there was the threat of battle, and they were prepared, as they held their weapons while going about their work. But they didn't allow the potential for battle, maybe even the fear of battle, to distract them from the work God was calling them to do.
And then we see Nehemiah's confidence in God...he knew what God had called him to do and that through his obedience, God would bring victory. That's the kind of confidence that brings internal peace.
Anyway, I was reading in Nehemiah 4:11-21 (NLT). Listen to this:
11Our enemies said, "They will not know or see until we come among them, kill them and put a stop to the work."
12When the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times, "They will come up against us from every place where you may turn,"
13then I stationed men in the lowest parts of the space behind the wall, the exposed places, and I stationed the people in families with their swords, spears and bows.
14When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: "Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses."
15When our enemies heard that it was known to us, and that God had frustrated their plan, then all of us returned to the wall, each one to his work.
16From that day on, half of my servants carried on the work while half of them held the spears, the shields, the bows and the breastplates; and the captains were behind the whole house of Judah.
17Those who were rebuilding the wall and those who carried burdens took their load with one hand doing the work and the other holding a weapon.
18As for the builders, each wore his sword girded at his side as he built, while the trumpeter stood near me.
19I said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "The work is great and extensive, and we are separated on the wall far from one another.
20"At whatever place you hear the sound of the trumpet, rally to us there. Our God will fight for us."
21So we carried on the work with half of them holding spears from dawn until the stars appeared.
What stands out about this for me is that they knew there was the threat of battle, and they were prepared, as they held their weapons while going about their work. But they didn't allow the potential for battle, maybe even the fear of battle, to distract them from the work God was calling them to do.
And then we see Nehemiah's confidence in God...he knew what God had called him to do and that through his obedience, God would bring victory. That's the kind of confidence that brings internal peace.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
LIFE
I am so struck this morning with the LIFE that God pours into my spirit. I was spending time with Him, and part of that time included listening to Chris Tomlin's song, "Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)", the chorus of which is:
"My chains are gone; I've been set free
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending love; amazing grace"
Oh, God, what amazing, amazing life you give...when we forsake our idols, casting them aside, to worship you alone. There is so much freedom and so much beauty there. You call us to freedom...may we live in it. I pray that those who see my life wouldn't miss the amazing life and freedom and beauty that I experience with You! May they find and know that LIFE!
"My chains are gone; I've been set free
My God, my Saviour has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending love; amazing grace"
Oh, God, what amazing, amazing life you give...when we forsake our idols, casting them aside, to worship you alone. There is so much freedom and so much beauty there. You call us to freedom...may we live in it. I pray that those who see my life wouldn't miss the amazing life and freedom and beauty that I experience with You! May they find and know that LIFE!
Monday, September 3, 2007
My enemy...the mosquito
What do you do when you're attacked by an enemy?
As I write this, sitting at my computer, I am being attacked by a small, but powerful and relentless mosquito. He has bitten my foot twice already, and the two times I've caught a glimpse of him, he has eluded my death trap. My vengeance is growing as my fear grows...my fear that he will attack again...because he has proven that he is out to get me. I'm developing a paranoia...I keep thinking I feel something landing on me, but I look and there's nothing...yet.
Am I accomplishing the work I set out to do tonight? Not at all. I'm completely distracted and afraid to NOT focus on what I fear.
Have you ever been there? ...Feeling like you had better stay keenly aware of the very thing you fear or else you are doomed? Psychologists may call this hypervigilance. It keeps us from living in a state of peace and joy...believing that we had better watch out for ourselves, because no one else will.
Hmmm. But is that right? No one else will? How easy it is to forget that I have a God who is intimately acquainted with everything in my life...including the big enemies and the little ones. That being true, I ask the question again, what do you do when you're attacked by an enemy?
After thinking about this, I chose to pray. I asked God to either give my enemy into my hands that I could defeat him OR to defeat my enemy himself apart from my effort and give me peace. I realize God's answer could be "no" to both options. He could allow my enemy to attack again. But faith would allow me to believe that God would still use it for good in a way that maybe only he knows (maybe for my character, maybe for your benefit, maybe to teach me how to fight enemy attacks, maybe for some reason I couldn't possibly understand). Will I trust him? ...so that I can live in peace and joy.
As I write this, sitting at my computer, I am being attacked by a small, but powerful and relentless mosquito. He has bitten my foot twice already, and the two times I've caught a glimpse of him, he has eluded my death trap. My vengeance is growing as my fear grows...my fear that he will attack again...because he has proven that he is out to get me. I'm developing a paranoia...I keep thinking I feel something landing on me, but I look and there's nothing...yet.
Am I accomplishing the work I set out to do tonight? Not at all. I'm completely distracted and afraid to NOT focus on what I fear.
Have you ever been there? ...Feeling like you had better stay keenly aware of the very thing you fear or else you are doomed? Psychologists may call this hypervigilance. It keeps us from living in a state of peace and joy...believing that we had better watch out for ourselves, because no one else will.
Hmmm. But is that right? No one else will? How easy it is to forget that I have a God who is intimately acquainted with everything in my life...including the big enemies and the little ones. That being true, I ask the question again, what do you do when you're attacked by an enemy?
After thinking about this, I chose to pray. I asked God to either give my enemy into my hands that I could defeat him OR to defeat my enemy himself apart from my effort and give me peace. I realize God's answer could be "no" to both options. He could allow my enemy to attack again. But faith would allow me to believe that God would still use it for good in a way that maybe only he knows (maybe for my character, maybe for your benefit, maybe to teach me how to fight enemy attacks, maybe for some reason I couldn't possibly understand). Will I trust him? ...so that I can live in peace and joy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)