? - sufficiency

I feel like, with the increased family demands that summer brings, I'm moving toward self-sufficiency...not a good thing. Time with God gets squeezed out as we all stay up later and sleep in longer...and yet I still need to get the kids up at a reasonable hour, but I sleep till that time.

So my time with God gets "postponed" till...well, maybe the next day??? ...and my reliance on God gets replaced with reliance on me.

Our flesh (and our enemy) would cause us to ask, "So what's wrong with self-reliance?" It sounds rather noble, non-imposing, strong.... But, we're often lulled into the belief that we can handle whatever life throws at us...and that limits us tremendously. God created us to do amazing works which we cannot do apart from Him...including having truly successful parenting and family lives, ministries, etc.

I know God has moved me, in recent years, out of living in the realm of possibility and into the realm of impossibility...and my attempts to accomplish my purpose apart from reliance on Him will fail...I will fail without God-reliance.

He's my most satisfying relationship in this life. Without it, I am lost and floundering and trying to fill an ache and emptiness in my soul.

I was stunned last night as I picked up my Jesus Calling book and was confronted. I read June 22 (b/c I didn't know what day it was):

"Thank Me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in My Face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about My treatment of you."

The word "rebellion" startled me. What? Not me. However, as I looked closely at my heart, I saw hints of growing self-sufficiency as I lacked quality time with Him...looking for and entertaining ideas of how to resolve my troublesome issues with comfortable solutions.

The text goes on to say (about complaining), "But once you step over that line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away. The best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving. It is impossible to thank Me and curse Me at the same time.

"Thanking Me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My Presence, which overshadows all your problems. (Ps. 116.17 and Php. 4.4-6)."

Still looking for a bit of relief, :/ I opened up Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest: May 23. "Careful Infidelity". Again, what?? He says worry = infidelity.

Matthew 6.25 describes how when we are worried about "the cares of the world", it chokes out the Word that God puts in us. He says, "...worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the practical details of our lives."

Troubles. This world is full of them...and they impact my life. I want to run away to safety. But He says He's overcome the troubles (Jn. 16.33). Lord, give me tenacity, perseverance, faith that You are in the middle of this...and that I will find You as I dig in to the middle of the things I want to run and find safety from.