What's really behind this controversial word...submission?

Submission has been very misunderstood; I think, possibly more than any other word or concept in the Bible. Both men and women typically misunderstand it...in different ways, however. But today I'm getting more insight into it, for both men and women.

Paul talks about it in Ephesians saying it is for everyone, and husbands and wives to submit to each other (Eph. 5.21), and then gets a little more detailed with the inner workings of the relationship that is filled with the Holy Spirit.

Let's backtrack a bit, though, and really look at what submission is as God intended. In James 3.16, James describes how it is jealousy and selfishness that bring disorder and evil. There is no godly wisdom in this kind of behavior. A truly wise person, however, 'though tempted, will not dig his heals in to fight the jealousy and selfishness, but instead, will respond as someone filled with the Holy Spirit. Eph. 5.18 says, "Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you." Verses 19-21 describe what will happen in us as a result of letting the Holy Spirit fill and control us: "Then you will sing...making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God.... And further, you will submit to one another."

Submission is not something to be demanded, but it is rather a result of the Holy Spirit filling us, controlling us and overflowing out of us. Now go back to James. James describes what it looks like to be someone filled with the Holy Spirit and controlled by the Holy Spirit, with the wisdom and the fruit of the Spirit flowing out of us as we respond to worldly actions, particularly jealousy and selfishness.

Characteristics that will flow out of us, as we are filled with the Holy Spirit, are healthy peace-making characteristics:

• purity
• a peace-loving perspective
• gentleness at all times
• a willingness to yield to others (ie, submission)
• mercy
• good deeds
• impartiality
• sincerity

Right in the middle of this list is having "a willingness to yield to others." This is the NLT rendering of the verse. Other versions, such as NIV, use the word "submissive". Keep in mind that James is writing to both men and women.

In considering submission as "a willingness to yield to others", first, having a willingness is something that can never be demanded. The will is an internal thing that no one can make you change. And second, the word "yield" conjures up images of road signs and how we respond to those. If I'm driving where two lanes merge into one, there is typically a sign that says, "yield" for one of the lanes, just so we don't crash. Yielding is simply a courteous, considerate action; NOT an action that shows the other person to be dominant. Actually, it seems to be the opposite. A gentleman who politely holds a door for a woman is yielding to her, submitting to her, by letting her go first. His behavior, in this way, sets him apart as respectable and honorable.

I realize some women have developed some deviated thinking on issues like that, and there are some men too who have tried to use this type of yielding behavior in dominating and demanding ways. That would be impure and not of the Spirit.

But we can choose to be filled with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to live virtuously through us.

So let's go back to the driving and road analogy. If I'm driving along on the highway and some wild and selfish driver comes speeding up to me driving recklessly and carelessly, worldly thinking would say I need to teach him a lesson or make him pay for his bad behavior. Godly wisdom, however, would likely yield and move aside with gentleness, mercy and peace (maybe even smiling and waving as he goes by), knowing that as James 3.18 goes on to say, "peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness."

I am in no way saying to allow another person to abuse you. Love sets boundaries in those relationships for the benefit of both people.

Look at it this way. My son is a black belt in karate. When someone attacks, my son has learned how to let the other person wear himself out by, in a sense, yielding to that person's momentum. Maybe you saw some of the first Karate Kid movies where Mr. Miyagi does this. Someone throws a punch and Mr. Miyagi quickly and calmly steps aside. He continues to dodge punches, using very little energy while the angry punch-thrower exhausts and frustrates himself with his ineffective effort.

Mr. Miyagi was yielding, yet it made him the strong one.

These are just some thoughts I had on the subject today. Of course, it is much, much broader and more complex than I've presented in these few paragraphs; nonetheless, food for thought.