Washed Clean: How to deal with nakedness

I like to have a clean vehicle, and although I keep it clean inside, the outside seems to make it through the car wash only about once a year. Yesterday was that day for this year.

I had just gotten home from an 1100 mile trip of night driving which left the windshield severely splattered with bugs. I noticed the gradual increase in bug-coverage as we drove along, but just adapted to the reduced visibility as needed, especially since I forgot to clean the windshield when we stopped for gas. Somehow I just got used to looking through the bug infestation to see the road and the world beyond.

Yesterday, though, I went to the car wash where some intense scrubbing took place. As I drove away, there was a strange feeling of exposure with having such a clean view--knowing I could see out, and others could see in, more authentically. Nothing was hidden--nothing was hiding me--and I felt almost naked...like some significant covering was missing. It was awkward and uncomfortable, yet it was good and right to be clean and to have the impurities and distortions removed.

Sometimes I feel that way with my life. I can get so used to distortions in my life that it feels uncomfortable when they're removed. For example, for much of my adult life, I ran to people to help me feel secure. It was an unhealthy dependence I had on them, and they typically felt a demandingness from me to meet my needs. Although the security it provided was never sufficient, it still provided some sense of security.

Several years ago, the pain it brought to my friendships began to outweigh the benefit, and I knew something had to change. With God's help, I loosened my grip on my friendships and began an intentional pursuit of God for my security. As I was letting go of the demands on my friends, the requirements I put on the friendships, and the things I was doing in those relationships to try to make sure I was as secure as possible, I realized I was getting spiritually cleaner and purified, and yet feeling uncomfortable and awkward, as if I was lacking the clothing that brought security...similar to the covering the bugs on my windshield provided. The clothing I longed for, though, was impure. I didn't know what to do with the emotional and spiritual nakedness I felt. As I continued to run to the pure covering of Jesus, He gradually provided a new, healthy covering of security...where I could live authentically and securely.

Is there an impure covering you're longing for? ...something you feel safer hiding behind? Choosing to let go of things that are not of God may increase that feeling. You may feel naked and exposed as He washes you clean. But pursuing God's sufficiency will ultimately bring us security, authenticity and peace.