I like to have a clean vehicle, and although I keep it clean inside, the outside seems to make it through the car wash only about once a year. Yesterday was that day for this year.
I had just gotten home from an 1100 mile trip of night driving which left the windshield severely splattered with bugs. I noticed the gradual increase in bug-coverage as we drove along, but just adapted to the reduced visibility as needed, especially since I forgot to clean the windshield when we stopped for gas. Somehow I just got used to looking through the bug infestation to see the road and the world beyond.
Yesterday, though, I went to the car wash where some intense scrubbing took place. As I drove away, there was a strange feeling of exposure with having such a clean view--knowing I could see out, and others could see in, more authentically. Nothing was hidden--nothing was hiding me--and I felt almost naked...like some significant covering was missing. It was awkward and uncomfortable, yet it was good and right to be clean and to have the impurities and distortions removed.
Sometimes I feel that way with my life. I can get so used to distortions in my life that it feels uncomfortable when they're removed. For example, for much of my adult life, I ran to people to help me feel secure. It was an unhealthy dependence I had on them, and they typically felt a demandingness from me to meet my needs. Although the security it provided was never sufficient, it still provided some sense of security.
Several years ago, the pain it brought to my friendships began to outweigh the benefit, and I knew something had to change. With God's help, I loosened my grip on my friendships and began an intentional pursuit of God for my security. As I was letting go of the demands on my friends, the requirements I put on the friendships, and the things I was doing in those relationships to try to make sure I was as secure as possible, I realized I was getting spiritually cleaner and purified, and yet feeling uncomfortable and awkward, as if I was lacking the clothing that brought security...similar to the covering the bugs on my windshield provided. The clothing I longed for, though, was impure. I didn't know what to do with the emotional and spiritual nakedness I felt. As I continued to run to the pure covering of Jesus, He gradually provided a new, healthy covering of security...where I could live authentically and securely.
Is there an impure covering you're longing for? ...something you feel safer hiding behind? Choosing to let go of things that are not of God may increase that feeling. You may feel naked and exposed as He washes you clean. But pursuing God's sufficiency will ultimately bring us security, authenticity and peace.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thoughts from Matthew 11.28-30, "Come to Me"
A yoke, when attached to any creature, provides a burden. I thought it was interesting that Jesus did NOT say, "Let me take all yokes from you."
Here are His words:
"'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'"
There is still a burden that He expects us to carry, but that burden is lightweight and is the perfect burden for us to continue moving through His purpose for our lives.
What IS that burden? that yoke? ...and what are we to learn from Him?
Aware of His two greatest commands to love God and love others, I'm wondering if it (the burden He intends for us to carry) might be yielding to and allowing His Spirit to live through us so that we can be a tool through which He displays the fruit of the Spirit to others: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We don't make the fruit; we yield to the process.
Here are His words:
"'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'"
There is still a burden that He expects us to carry, but that burden is lightweight and is the perfect burden for us to continue moving through His purpose for our lives.
What IS that burden? that yoke? ...and what are we to learn from Him?
Aware of His two greatest commands to love God and love others, I'm wondering if it (the burden He intends for us to carry) might be yielding to and allowing His Spirit to live through us so that we can be a tool through which He displays the fruit of the Spirit to others: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We don't make the fruit; we yield to the process.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
May The Scales Fall
My son, Tim, asked me to read a book he had to read for school, Night, about one surviving Jew's story of the extermination of the Jews in Hungary under Hitler's regime. It's so sad...and mind boggling how someone's thinking can be so twisted and corrupted.
Then the Apostle Paul comes to mind. Paul, then known as Saul, was passionate. He boldly lived out what he was convinced of--what he believed was right. He was determined and successful in the mission he was carrying out (exterminating Christians). Unfortunately, he was deceived and unable to see truth, but he was also unable to discern his own blindness to truth.
Finally God got his attention by physically blinding him. His physical blindness allowed him to see the truth of his spiritual blindness. Eventually, the "scales" fell off his eyes and he was finally able to see both physically and spiritually. I wonder if the scales were what God used to cause the physical blindness OR if the scales were already there causing the spiritual blindness, and finally, understanding truth, they came off.
I'm constantly seeing and interacting with people who are spiritually blind. They believe they see truth. Sometimes it's a teenager who's convinced his parents are ruining his life, so he fights against them. Sometimes it's misunderstandings in who we really are (self-concept) that cause us to think others are against us...and we attack them...and sometimes ourselves.
We need God's truth. We need to understand, in those times, that we have a spiritual blindness that steals our joy and our God-given purpose. We need the scales to fall from our eyes.
Then the Apostle Paul comes to mind. Paul, then known as Saul, was passionate. He boldly lived out what he was convinced of--what he believed was right. He was determined and successful in the mission he was carrying out (exterminating Christians). Unfortunately, he was deceived and unable to see truth, but he was also unable to discern his own blindness to truth.
Finally God got his attention by physically blinding him. His physical blindness allowed him to see the truth of his spiritual blindness. Eventually, the "scales" fell off his eyes and he was finally able to see both physically and spiritually. I wonder if the scales were what God used to cause the physical blindness OR if the scales were already there causing the spiritual blindness, and finally, understanding truth, they came off.
I'm constantly seeing and interacting with people who are spiritually blind. They believe they see truth. Sometimes it's a teenager who's convinced his parents are ruining his life, so he fights against them. Sometimes it's misunderstandings in who we really are (self-concept) that cause us to think others are against us...and we attack them...and sometimes ourselves.
We need God's truth. We need to understand, in those times, that we have a spiritual blindness that steals our joy and our God-given purpose. We need the scales to fall from our eyes.
Friday, May 21, 2010
What's really behind this controversial word...submission?
Submission has been very misunderstood; I think, possibly more than any other word or concept in the Bible. Both men and women typically misunderstand it...in different ways, however. But today I'm getting more insight into it, for both men and women.
Paul talks about it in Ephesians saying it is for everyone, and husbands and wives to submit to each other (Eph. 5.21), and then gets a little more detailed with the inner workings of the relationship that is filled with the Holy Spirit.
Let's backtrack a bit, though, and really look at what submission is as God intended. In James 3.16, James describes how it is jealousy and selfishness that bring disorder and evil. There is no godly wisdom in this kind of behavior. A truly wise person, however, 'though tempted, will not dig his heals in to fight the jealousy and selfishness, but instead, will respond as someone filled with the Holy Spirit. Eph. 5.18 says, "Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you." Verses 19-21 describe what will happen in us as a result of letting the Holy Spirit fill and control us: "Then you will sing...making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God.... And further, you will submit to one another."
Submission is not something to be demanded, but it is rather a result of the Holy Spirit filling us, controlling us and overflowing out of us. Now go back to James. James describes what it looks like to be someone filled with the Holy Spirit and controlled by the Holy Spirit, with the wisdom and the fruit of the Spirit flowing out of us as we respond to worldly actions, particularly jealousy and selfishness.
Characteristics that will flow out of us, as we are filled with the Holy Spirit, are healthy peace-making characteristics:
In considering submission as "a willingness to yield to others", first, having a willingness is something that can never be demanded. The will is an internal thing that no one can make you change. And second, the word "yield" conjures up images of road signs and how we respond to those. If I'm driving where two lanes merge into one, there is typically a sign that says, "yield" for one of the lanes, just so we don't crash. Yielding is simply a courteous, considerate action; NOT an action that shows the other person to be dominant. Actually, it seems to be the opposite. A gentleman who politely holds a door for a woman is yielding to her, submitting to her, by letting her go first. His behavior, in this way, sets him apart as respectable and honorable.
I realize some women have developed some deviated thinking on issues like that, and there are some men too who have tried to use this type of yielding behavior in dominating and demanding ways. That would be impure and not of the Spirit.
But we can choose to be filled with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to live virtuously through us.
So let's go back to the driving and road analogy. If I'm driving along on the highway and some wild and selfish driver comes speeding up to me driving recklessly and carelessly, worldly thinking would say I need to teach him a lesson or make him pay for his bad behavior. Godly wisdom, however, would likely yield and move aside with gentleness, mercy and peace (maybe even smiling and waving as he goes by), knowing that as James 3.18 goes on to say, "peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness."
I am in no way saying to allow another person to abuse you. Love sets boundaries in those relationships for the benefit of both people.
Look at it this way. My son is a black belt in karate. When someone attacks, my son has learned how to let the other person wear himself out by, in a sense, yielding to that person's momentum. Maybe you saw some of the first Karate Kid movies where Mr. Miyagi does this. Someone throws a punch and Mr. Miyagi quickly and calmly steps aside. He continues to dodge punches, using very little energy while the angry punch-thrower exhausts and frustrates himself with his ineffective effort.
Mr. Miyagi was yielding, yet it made him the strong one.
These are just some thoughts I had on the subject today. Of course, it is much, much broader and more complex than I've presented in these few paragraphs; nonetheless, food for thought.
Paul talks about it in Ephesians saying it is for everyone, and husbands and wives to submit to each other (Eph. 5.21), and then gets a little more detailed with the inner workings of the relationship that is filled with the Holy Spirit.
Let's backtrack a bit, though, and really look at what submission is as God intended. In James 3.16, James describes how it is jealousy and selfishness that bring disorder and evil. There is no godly wisdom in this kind of behavior. A truly wise person, however, 'though tempted, will not dig his heals in to fight the jealousy and selfishness, but instead, will respond as someone filled with the Holy Spirit. Eph. 5.18 says, "Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you." Verses 19-21 describe what will happen in us as a result of letting the Holy Spirit fill and control us: "Then you will sing...making music to the Lord in your hearts. And you will always give thanks for everything to God.... And further, you will submit to one another."
Submission is not something to be demanded, but it is rather a result of the Holy Spirit filling us, controlling us and overflowing out of us. Now go back to James. James describes what it looks like to be someone filled with the Holy Spirit and controlled by the Holy Spirit, with the wisdom and the fruit of the Spirit flowing out of us as we respond to worldly actions, particularly jealousy and selfishness.
Characteristics that will flow out of us, as we are filled with the Holy Spirit, are healthy peace-making characteristics:
- purity
- a peace-loving perspective
- gentleness at all times
- a willingness to yield to others (ie, submission)
- mercy
- good deeds
- impartiality
- sincerity
In considering submission as "a willingness to yield to others", first, having a willingness is something that can never be demanded. The will is an internal thing that no one can make you change. And second, the word "yield" conjures up images of road signs and how we respond to those. If I'm driving where two lanes merge into one, there is typically a sign that says, "yield" for one of the lanes, just so we don't crash. Yielding is simply a courteous, considerate action; NOT an action that shows the other person to be dominant. Actually, it seems to be the opposite. A gentleman who politely holds a door for a woman is yielding to her, submitting to her, by letting her go first. His behavior, in this way, sets him apart as respectable and honorable.
I realize some women have developed some deviated thinking on issues like that, and there are some men too who have tried to use this type of yielding behavior in dominating and demanding ways. That would be impure and not of the Spirit.
But we can choose to be filled with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to live virtuously through us.
So let's go back to the driving and road analogy. If I'm driving along on the highway and some wild and selfish driver comes speeding up to me driving recklessly and carelessly, worldly thinking would say I need to teach him a lesson or make him pay for his bad behavior. Godly wisdom, however, would likely yield and move aside with gentleness, mercy and peace (maybe even smiling and waving as he goes by), knowing that as James 3.18 goes on to say, "peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness."
I am in no way saying to allow another person to abuse you. Love sets boundaries in those relationships for the benefit of both people.
Look at it this way. My son is a black belt in karate. When someone attacks, my son has learned how to let the other person wear himself out by, in a sense, yielding to that person's momentum. Maybe you saw some of the first Karate Kid movies where Mr. Miyagi does this. Someone throws a punch and Mr. Miyagi quickly and calmly steps aside. He continues to dodge punches, using very little energy while the angry punch-thrower exhausts and frustrates himself with his ineffective effort.
Mr. Miyagi was yielding, yet it made him the strong one.
These are just some thoughts I had on the subject today. Of course, it is much, much broader and more complex than I've presented in these few paragraphs; nonetheless, food for thought.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
clean needle vending machines
It bothers me that we live in a society that prefers to deal with symptoms rather than problems (ie, the cause of the symptoms). Drugs are given for high blood pressure rather than dealing with the hyper-tension that is typically the cause of it. Guns may be taken away from everyone instead of dealing with the violent behavior of the minority. Society has chosen to deal with STDs, immorality, and infidelity by providing condoms rather than advocating morality. I can imagine how society will soon be dealing with the problem of drug addiction. A condom vending machine in a high school bathroom has just as much ethics as a clean needle vending machine in a public restroom or a life-like mannequin of yourself to sleep in your bed so your spouse won't know you're away having an affair.
We need to get to the root causes of our emotionally and physically unhealthy symptoms. There's freedom there, but not in masking the problem.
We need to get to the root causes of our emotionally and physically unhealthy symptoms. There's freedom there, but not in masking the problem.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Love and War
I just watched John and Stasi Eldredge's webcast for their new book, Love and War. Very informative and helpful for navigating through all kinds of marriage issues. I've found most marriage books to be rather frustrating and have often felt like I've been 'missed' as I've read though a typical marriage book's suggestions. But with Love and War, I feel understood. You should read it. It can be ordered on their website at www.ransomedheart.com.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Watch!
He was horrified, and they fell asleep!!
Jesus, about to be arrested and crucified, told his three closest friends to, "Stay here and watch with me."(1) "Watch" refers to "being alert to spiritual dangers."(2) Jesus went a little further in the garden to pray, but not like we pray, and apparently prayer that was beyond the comprehension of his friends.
"The full impact of His death and its spiritual consequences struck Jesus and He staggered under its weight. The prospect of alienation from His Father horrified Him." (3)
Still, as He awakened His friends, He admonished them again, "Keep alert and pray", (4) meaning, "acknowledge dependence on God so that you will not fall into temptation." (5)
In the New Testament, Paul instructs believers, and especially leaders, to "watch" regarding their integrity, care and direction. (6) Jesus, however, instructed His disciples regarding only one other scenario in which to "Watch": regarding His return. He said according to Matt. 24.42 and Mark 13.35, "Therefore keep watch because you do not know on what day the Lord will come." Luke gives an account of a discussion that Jesus has with his disciples in the temple where He tells them to, "Watch out! Don't let me find you living in careless ease and drunkenness, and filled with the worries of this life. Don't let that day catch you unaware, as in a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on the earth. Keep a constant watch. And pray...." (7)
As I attempt to apply this to my own life, I'm challenged to stay aware and alert to the prospect that He will return for me and it could be at any moment. Am I ready? Am I alert to spiritual dangers, such as dependence on myself, falling asleep (becoming lax) at critical times, the potential to fall into temptation, etc.? And am I committed to prayer...acknowledging my dependence on God so that I will not fall into temptation?
For more on this, Paul's instructions to the believers at various churches provide a little more substance and practical application to the idea of keeping watch (see footnote 6).
1 Matthew. 26.38, 40; Mark 14.34, 37
2 The Bible Knowledge Commentary
3 The Bible Knowledge Commentary
4 Matt. 26.41, Mark 14.38
5 The Bible Knowledge Commentary
6 Acts 20.31, 1 Cor. 16.13, Col. 4.2, 1 Thess. 5.6, 1 Tim. 4.16, 2 Tim. 4.5, Heb. 13.17, 1 Pet. 4.7
7 Luke 21.34-36a
Jesus, about to be arrested and crucified, told his three closest friends to, "Stay here and watch with me."(1) "Watch" refers to "being alert to spiritual dangers."(2) Jesus went a little further in the garden to pray, but not like we pray, and apparently prayer that was beyond the comprehension of his friends.
"The full impact of His death and its spiritual consequences struck Jesus and He staggered under its weight. The prospect of alienation from His Father horrified Him." (3)
Still, as He awakened His friends, He admonished them again, "Keep alert and pray", (4) meaning, "acknowledge dependence on God so that you will not fall into temptation." (5)
In the New Testament, Paul instructs believers, and especially leaders, to "watch" regarding their integrity, care and direction. (6) Jesus, however, instructed His disciples regarding only one other scenario in which to "Watch": regarding His return. He said according to Matt. 24.42 and Mark 13.35, "Therefore keep watch because you do not know on what day the Lord will come." Luke gives an account of a discussion that Jesus has with his disciples in the temple where He tells them to, "Watch out! Don't let me find you living in careless ease and drunkenness, and filled with the worries of this life. Don't let that day catch you unaware, as in a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on the earth. Keep a constant watch. And pray...." (7)
As I attempt to apply this to my own life, I'm challenged to stay aware and alert to the prospect that He will return for me and it could be at any moment. Am I ready? Am I alert to spiritual dangers, such as dependence on myself, falling asleep (becoming lax) at critical times, the potential to fall into temptation, etc.? And am I committed to prayer...acknowledging my dependence on God so that I will not fall into temptation?
For more on this, Paul's instructions to the believers at various churches provide a little more substance and practical application to the idea of keeping watch (see footnote 6).
1 Matthew. 26.38, 40; Mark 14.34, 37
2 The Bible Knowledge Commentary
3 The Bible Knowledge Commentary
4 Matt. 26.41, Mark 14.38
5 The Bible Knowledge Commentary
6 Acts 20.31, 1 Cor. 16.13, Col. 4.2, 1 Thess. 5.6, 1 Tim. 4.16, 2 Tim. 4.5, Heb. 13.17, 1 Pet. 4.7
7 Luke 21.34-36a
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Where the Truth Lies
Have you ever observed someone who is so totally convinced of something that they believe is truth, but you know it's not truth...it's a perception that's skewed...it's a lie...?
As a kid, there was a closet door in our house where a knot in the grain of the wood appeared to be a scary face looking at me. Unfortunately, for me, the door was within view when I was lying in bed. It scared me...as if there was something evil about the door. But why? The door had no power over me whatsoever...it was just a piece of wood. So why was I scared? I believed (as truth) something about the lines and shapes and design in the wood, and that belief caused me to behave in ways that brought about fear, anxiety, inability to sleep at times, sometimes crying, ....
How different would my response have been if I would have believed actual truth rather than perceived truth. I would have recognized that I'm looking at a piece of wood that I have total control over...and could cut out any part of it that didn't look quite right. Of course, I would have had to face my parents in that scenario, but that's another story....
I was reading in Jeremiah this morning, chapter 14. Jeremiah was a prophet who, devoted to God, presented messages from God to God's people, Israel. Judah was a tribe of Israel, and in chapter 14, God sends a message through Jeremiah to Judah. After many strong warnings, because Judah had been so wicked and arrogant and chose to leave God behind, God sent a message that He would "'give [Judah] only war, famine and disease.'" (v.12)
Judah's own prophets, however, had been telling them that, "'All is well--no war or famine will come. The Lord will surely send you peace.'" (v. 13)
Here's God's reply to Jeremiah in verse 14:
"Then the Lord said, 'These prophets are telling lies in my name. I did not send them or tell them to speak. I did not give them any messages. They prophesy of visions and revelations they have never seen or heard. They speak foolishness made up in their own lying hearts.'"
After reading that this morning, it occurred to me just how important it is to have truth in our hearts. We can only speak truth out of truth. If I would have given instruction to someone when I was a kid about the closet door in our house or the impact it would have on someone to sleep in my room, my instruction would have been very skewed from the truth because of the lie I was believing in my heart.
We need to make sure that our "perceptions" of truth are really not lies but rather God's truth. It's why David, in Psalm 139, prayed,
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
David understood that his own perception of truth could be skewed and not really be truth at all, so he knew he needed God to continually search his heart for places where misperceptions have crept in. It was important for his own life, but extremely significant as a leader since his beliefs/perceptions of truth (or lies) impacted every person he was leading...and since his entire kingdom was dependent on what existed in his own heart.
How do you and I know that we are believing God's truth? We, first, must be willing to see where we're not...and pray as David did in Psalm 139. Then take a look, as David was willing to do, with God, at those anxious thoughts.
This may need a Part 2 eventually....
As a kid, there was a closet door in our house where a knot in the grain of the wood appeared to be a scary face looking at me. Unfortunately, for me, the door was within view when I was lying in bed. It scared me...as if there was something evil about the door. But why? The door had no power over me whatsoever...it was just a piece of wood. So why was I scared? I believed (as truth) something about the lines and shapes and design in the wood, and that belief caused me to behave in ways that brought about fear, anxiety, inability to sleep at times, sometimes crying, ....
How different would my response have been if I would have believed actual truth rather than perceived truth. I would have recognized that I'm looking at a piece of wood that I have total control over...and could cut out any part of it that didn't look quite right. Of course, I would have had to face my parents in that scenario, but that's another story....
I was reading in Jeremiah this morning, chapter 14. Jeremiah was a prophet who, devoted to God, presented messages from God to God's people, Israel. Judah was a tribe of Israel, and in chapter 14, God sends a message through Jeremiah to Judah. After many strong warnings, because Judah had been so wicked and arrogant and chose to leave God behind, God sent a message that He would "'give [Judah] only war, famine and disease.'" (v.12)
Judah's own prophets, however, had been telling them that, "'All is well--no war or famine will come. The Lord will surely send you peace.'" (v. 13)
Here's God's reply to Jeremiah in verse 14:
"Then the Lord said, 'These prophets are telling lies in my name. I did not send them or tell them to speak. I did not give them any messages. They prophesy of visions and revelations they have never seen or heard. They speak foolishness made up in their own lying hearts.'"
After reading that this morning, it occurred to me just how important it is to have truth in our hearts. We can only speak truth out of truth. If I would have given instruction to someone when I was a kid about the closet door in our house or the impact it would have on someone to sleep in my room, my instruction would have been very skewed from the truth because of the lie I was believing in my heart.
We need to make sure that our "perceptions" of truth are really not lies but rather God's truth. It's why David, in Psalm 139, prayed,
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
David understood that his own perception of truth could be skewed and not really be truth at all, so he knew he needed God to continually search his heart for places where misperceptions have crept in. It was important for his own life, but extremely significant as a leader since his beliefs/perceptions of truth (or lies) impacted every person he was leading...and since his entire kingdom was dependent on what existed in his own heart.
How do you and I know that we are believing God's truth? We, first, must be willing to see where we're not...and pray as David did in Psalm 139. Then take a look, as David was willing to do, with God, at those anxious thoughts.
This may need a Part 2 eventually....
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Failure and people-pleasing
I'm going to be pretty transparent today. I've been feeling like I'm failing in so many areas: parenting, marriage, publishing, spiritually, with extended family, with friends. My reality is that I'm not living as a people-pleaser like I used to, but I'm still listening to their level of satisfaction with me. In the past, if I thought someone was dissatisfied with me or something I was doing, I'd change in ways that I thought would make them happier with me. But, now, committed to living out of conviction and who I am instead, I'm not changing according to their satisfaction. However, I'm still aware of 'my interpretation' of their satisfaction with me...and I'm drawing conclusions about how well I'm doing based on that.
People are dissatisfied with quantity of time I spend with them, or how much I reach out to them, or how I handle a situation, or what clothes I buy, or how well I'm taking care of _________, or whether or not I do this or do that.... (And sometimes I'm just dissatisfied with myself.)
I can't live out of conviction and keep everyone happy with me. Apparently, there's something in me that believes that if I can satisfy people, I'm okay...or successful and not a failure...and if they're dissatisfied with me, then I've failed.
My tendency is to look, first, to a person to see if they're satisfied. If so, then I look to the level of success of the performance and draw my conclusion. Conclusion: If the person is dissatisfied or the performance isn't great, then I've failed. And looking at my life this way right now, there's a lot of failing...and my belief is that I'm a failure. I know this thinking isn't right, and yet this is my reality.
So I asked God what He wanted me to know about this.
God's response to me:
"I've already determined the outcomes."
That, alone, took the pressure completely off. It really doesn't matter how I 'perform' (assuming I'm loving Him and pursuing His purpose for me) because He will still bring about the result that He wants.
"I just want you to live in the situations where I put you. If you do well, great; and if you blow it, I'll change it to work for good." (Rom. 8.28)
"The result is not for your concern. I don't want your success; I want your worship."
Selah.
People are dissatisfied with quantity of time I spend with them, or how much I reach out to them, or how I handle a situation, or what clothes I buy, or how well I'm taking care of _________, or whether or not I do this or do that.... (And sometimes I'm just dissatisfied with myself.)
I can't live out of conviction and keep everyone happy with me. Apparently, there's something in me that believes that if I can satisfy people, I'm okay...or successful and not a failure...and if they're dissatisfied with me, then I've failed.
My tendency is to look, first, to a person to see if they're satisfied. If so, then I look to the level of success of the performance and draw my conclusion. Conclusion: If the person is dissatisfied or the performance isn't great, then I've failed. And looking at my life this way right now, there's a lot of failing...and my belief is that I'm a failure. I know this thinking isn't right, and yet this is my reality.
So I asked God what He wanted me to know about this.
God's response to me:
"I've already determined the outcomes."
That, alone, took the pressure completely off. It really doesn't matter how I 'perform' (assuming I'm loving Him and pursuing His purpose for me) because He will still bring about the result that He wants.
"I just want you to live in the situations where I put you. If you do well, great; and if you blow it, I'll change it to work for good." (Rom. 8.28)
"The result is not for your concern. I don't want your success; I want your worship."
Selah.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
When Jesus entered the world
God determined the perfect time for His Son to enter the world...during the reign of a king who would seek to kill Him rather than love Him. It seemed to be a theme in His life. His parents' response was to grow Him up. Hebrews 5.8 says he learned obedience from what he suffered. The verse before this says, "During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission." He learned how to submit to God, not just in the direction for His earthly life, but also in the suffering that he faced. He learned to pour out His suffering at God's feet recognizing that God is the only One who could save Him from whatever it was He needed to be saved from (and just like for us, there is much we need to be saved from on this earth).
You're likely facing some sort of adversity or suffering right now. What are you learning from what you've suffered? Eeeekk.. Honestly, I'd have to say that I've learned a lot of self-protection...lots and lots of it. I've certainly learned to pour out at God's feet, and He has brought me far because of it. But along with it, I've also taken on (or kept) some bad habits...like, rather than setting healthy boundaries for myself in some areas, I've put demands on others for what is acceptable (eg, "Don't you talk to me that way!" rather than "If you choose to talk to me that way, there will be consequences."). Or when someone hurts me, I may refuse to be vulnerable with them.
As I look at Jesus' example, I love (and am deeply challenged by) His response to Peter, in particular, in John 13 and 14. Jesus is telling His disciples that "His time has come" and that He would be leaving them soon. Peter's response is to want to go with Him and proclaims that he is "ready to die for" Him. Jesus knows right then that Peter will not only NOT be willing to die for Him, but that Peter would actually betray Him by denying that he even knows Jesus...three times...before the next morning.
That would probably be enough for me to say, "Forget you...I already know the depth (or shallowness) of your faithfulness to me. I don't need that." But not Jesus. His response was, "'Don't be troubled. ...trust in me. ...I am going to prepare a place for you. ...When everything is ready, I will come and get you." I'm sure His heart was broken by the knowledge that even His closest friends would betray Him. Yet I think He could still be vulnerable because (Heb. 5.8) He submitted Himself to (the trustworthy) God, pouring out to God all that troubled Him, so that He could choose to follow the more vulnerable path that God had laid out for Him...that vulnerable path that He also lays out for each of us.
God offers us the same opportunity. Philippians 4.6 directs us to tell God what we need and thank Him for all that He's done. Pour out to Him...and then we can have peace.
As a final thought, and as I return to my original thoughts on Jesus being born under the reign of a king who wanted Him dead, it causes me to wonder a bit about "the three wise men." I wonder what made them so wise...maybe b/c they knew when to leave their work to go worship. Worship requires trust. Worship and trust go hand in hand with pouring out to Him. Let's not neglect to leave our work to worship when His presence draws us.
You're likely facing some sort of adversity or suffering right now. What are you learning from what you've suffered? Eeeekk.. Honestly, I'd have to say that I've learned a lot of self-protection...lots and lots of it. I've certainly learned to pour out at God's feet, and He has brought me far because of it. But along with it, I've also taken on (or kept) some bad habits...like, rather than setting healthy boundaries for myself in some areas, I've put demands on others for what is acceptable (eg, "Don't you talk to me that way!" rather than "If you choose to talk to me that way, there will be consequences."). Or when someone hurts me, I may refuse to be vulnerable with them.
As I look at Jesus' example, I love (and am deeply challenged by) His response to Peter, in particular, in John 13 and 14. Jesus is telling His disciples that "His time has come" and that He would be leaving them soon. Peter's response is to want to go with Him and proclaims that he is "ready to die for" Him. Jesus knows right then that Peter will not only NOT be willing to die for Him, but that Peter would actually betray Him by denying that he even knows Jesus...three times...before the next morning.
That would probably be enough for me to say, "Forget you...I already know the depth (or shallowness) of your faithfulness to me. I don't need that." But not Jesus. His response was, "'Don't be troubled. ...trust in me. ...I am going to prepare a place for you. ...When everything is ready, I will come and get you." I'm sure His heart was broken by the knowledge that even His closest friends would betray Him. Yet I think He could still be vulnerable because (Heb. 5.8) He submitted Himself to (the trustworthy) God, pouring out to God all that troubled Him, so that He could choose to follow the more vulnerable path that God had laid out for Him...that vulnerable path that He also lays out for each of us.
God offers us the same opportunity. Philippians 4.6 directs us to tell God what we need and thank Him for all that He's done. Pour out to Him...and then we can have peace.
As a final thought, and as I return to my original thoughts on Jesus being born under the reign of a king who wanted Him dead, it causes me to wonder a bit about "the three wise men." I wonder what made them so wise...maybe b/c they knew when to leave their work to go worship. Worship requires trust. Worship and trust go hand in hand with pouring out to Him. Let's not neglect to leave our work to worship when His presence draws us.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Move It or Lose It
I'll just be real with you: we're getting older. It seems that, in general, there is less demand on our bodies as we age. When I was a bit younger and had younger kids, I remember my mother-in-law asking me if I ever sat down. I think, then, it was probably only to change a diaper. Several years ago, I was chasing toddlers all over...even in the middle of the night I would be up with a crying baby, or a kid with a wet bed, or you name it. Now, there are still just as many demands on my time, yet it's different. Rather than chasing kids, I now sit in the van and drive teenagers all over; and when I'm not doing that, I'm sitting and working at my computer...writing a workbook, editing something, or working on some other digital project.
Our ancestors used to be on their feet all day long plowing fields, building fences and other structures, baling and stacking hay and straw...much physical labor. Technology, however, has driven many of us to sit all day long.
Have you felt the impact of that yet? I have. Much of this past year I took a bit of a sabbatical from exercise and found that "I'm losing it." What I'm gaining: aches and pains. Shortness of breath. I've gotten weaker, less flexible. Low energy level...tired a lot. I didn't realize how much impact just walking briskly 20 minutes a day, 3 or 4 days a week had on me. Two weeks ago, I left my sabbatical and began to "move it" again...3 days last week, and so far, 2 this week.
Have you felt the "move it or lose it" impact anywhere else in your life? The Apostle Paul says in the Bible, "for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." (1 Tim. 4.8) Seeing and feeling the impact of my physical laxity, I'm not only motivated to re-build what I've lost physically, but I'm also motivated to maintain and stretch what I have spiritually. I saw and felt the frustrating impact of the physical loss. If that's only of "little value", I certainly don't want to lose the spiritual, which is of much greater value.
What am I doing today to exercise spiritually?
Our ancestors used to be on their feet all day long plowing fields, building fences and other structures, baling and stacking hay and straw...much physical labor. Technology, however, has driven many of us to sit all day long.
Have you felt the impact of that yet? I have. Much of this past year I took a bit of a sabbatical from exercise and found that "I'm losing it." What I'm gaining: aches and pains. Shortness of breath. I've gotten weaker, less flexible. Low energy level...tired a lot. I didn't realize how much impact just walking briskly 20 minutes a day, 3 or 4 days a week had on me. Two weeks ago, I left my sabbatical and began to "move it" again...3 days last week, and so far, 2 this week.
Have you felt the "move it or lose it" impact anywhere else in your life? The Apostle Paul says in the Bible, "for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." (1 Tim. 4.8) Seeing and feeling the impact of my physical laxity, I'm not only motivated to re-build what I've lost physically, but I'm also motivated to maintain and stretch what I have spiritually. I saw and felt the frustrating impact of the physical loss. If that's only of "little value", I certainly don't want to lose the spiritual, which is of much greater value.
What am I doing today to exercise spiritually?
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Something Better
All morning I've been thinking about a song by The Desperation Band called "Pleasing to You". Great song, but as I'm facing some newly exposed (by God) areas in my life that are very uncomfortable and painful to look at, and cause me to feel like I've regressed spiritually and emotionally about 8-25 years, I started questioning, "Why would I want to be pleasing to God if this is the result!?"
I wonder if that's a question that gets asked silently much more than I realize. I wonder if that's why believers fall away...and those who once claimed to embrace Jesus turn back to themselves and self-sufficiency. I wonder if they've been disillusioned with a "prosperity gospel"...I wonder how many of us don't see truth, when it's the truth that will set us free.
Pleasing to God.... The song says, "Sanctify me. Clean out my closet. Take away anything that is not pleasing to You. Purify me. Destroy all my anger. Wash away everything that is not pleasing to You. ...Taking my cross, I will follow...."
WHY would we do that?? It certainly seems safer and more comfortable NOT to.
God put it in perspective for me as He reminded me of Hebrews 11.40, "God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." (NIV)
I can only experience the "something better" when I cooperate with His plan. His plan is good (Jeremiah 29.11) and will bring us freedom (Galatians 5.1). Listen to what Romans 8.21 says in the Amplified Bible: "That nature (creation) itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and corruption [and gain an entrance] into the glorious freedom of God's children."
I want that "glorious freedom". I don't want "bondage to decay and corruption". But freedom always has a price. Jesus, not even being subject to that bondage, chose to pay the high price to give us opportunity for freedom. The price for us is to let go of our bondage. Sometimes letting go feels like a crucifixion. In one sense, it is. It is the choice to allow any impurities in us to be crucified and destroyed. Our impurities are often things we put our hope in to satisfy us or bring us security because we can't see another way to be secure or satisfied. The crazy part of it is that those things we're holding onto really aren't making us secure enough or satisfied enough. But when we can't comprehend another way, it's hard to let go. Depending on how long and how tightly we've held onto these impurities, crucifixion of them may involve blood, sweat, tears, pain, sacrifice, release.
However, we have the hope of resurrection. God resurrects to freedom, renewal, holiness, beauty. I want what God will provide in resurrection. "Resurrection comes only because there is first a crucifixion." (Gene Edwards, Exquisite Agony) We have hope of "something better": "glorious freedom"...no more bondage...peace and joy that come only from trusting God for our satisfaction and security.
This "crucifixion" can feel overwhelming...a heavy burden to bear. But, again, God doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves. He provides a way out from the weight of the burden: "Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." (Psalm 55.22, NASB) The Amplified Bible says, "Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you". We can release the weight of it. What a comfort to have Someone who is capable of sustaining me...and WILL. I want to be "pleasing to [Him]". What about you?
I wonder if that's a question that gets asked silently much more than I realize. I wonder if that's why believers fall away...and those who once claimed to embrace Jesus turn back to themselves and self-sufficiency. I wonder if they've been disillusioned with a "prosperity gospel"...I wonder how many of us don't see truth, when it's the truth that will set us free.
Pleasing to God.... The song says, "Sanctify me. Clean out my closet. Take away anything that is not pleasing to You. Purify me. Destroy all my anger. Wash away everything that is not pleasing to You. ...Taking my cross, I will follow...."
WHY would we do that?? It certainly seems safer and more comfortable NOT to.
God put it in perspective for me as He reminded me of Hebrews 11.40, "God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." (NIV)
I can only experience the "something better" when I cooperate with His plan. His plan is good (Jeremiah 29.11) and will bring us freedom (Galatians 5.1). Listen to what Romans 8.21 says in the Amplified Bible: "That nature (creation) itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and corruption [and gain an entrance] into the glorious freedom of God's children."
I want that "glorious freedom". I don't want "bondage to decay and corruption". But freedom always has a price. Jesus, not even being subject to that bondage, chose to pay the high price to give us opportunity for freedom. The price for us is to let go of our bondage. Sometimes letting go feels like a crucifixion. In one sense, it is. It is the choice to allow any impurities in us to be crucified and destroyed. Our impurities are often things we put our hope in to satisfy us or bring us security because we can't see another way to be secure or satisfied. The crazy part of it is that those things we're holding onto really aren't making us secure enough or satisfied enough. But when we can't comprehend another way, it's hard to let go. Depending on how long and how tightly we've held onto these impurities, crucifixion of them may involve blood, sweat, tears, pain, sacrifice, release.
However, we have the hope of resurrection. God resurrects to freedom, renewal, holiness, beauty. I want what God will provide in resurrection. "Resurrection comes only because there is first a crucifixion." (Gene Edwards, Exquisite Agony) We have hope of "something better": "glorious freedom"...no more bondage...peace and joy that come only from trusting God for our satisfaction and security.
This "crucifixion" can feel overwhelming...a heavy burden to bear. But, again, God doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves. He provides a way out from the weight of the burden: "Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken." (Psalm 55.22, NASB) The Amplified Bible says, "Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you". We can release the weight of it. What a comfort to have Someone who is capable of sustaining me...and WILL. I want to be "pleasing to [Him]". What about you?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Modern Relationship - my two cents
As I think about modern views of relationship, I'm disappointed. The movie Julie and Julia, although entertaining, was another example of this for me.
I think it's wonderful that Julie found direction in her life. However, she gave the credit for her life's meaning to another woman who had no interest in knowing her. How sad. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be directed in your life's meaning and purpose by someone who knows you very well AND is thrilled over relationship with you?
God says this: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jer. 29.11, NIV)
And He also says, "'For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.'" (Zeph. 3.17, NLT)
I want to seek my life's direction from THAT relationship.
Along similar relational lines, I find it interesting how connected we can feel to each other on facebook, and how deceptive that connection can really be. We can be lulled into feeling like we know our facebook friends, but what does it really mean when someone's having a bad day? For one person, it means that he overslept, hit every stoplight on the way to work, traffic was heavy and he had to work through lunch. For another, a bad day means he's devastated because his wife left him.
Do we know the difference? For so many, facebook and the internet are their source of building and maintaining relationship, but you cannot 'know' someone that way. You need face time (not just face 'book' time) with some friends that you'll pursue more depth with. We have to know, at least for a few friends, what exactly it means when they're having a 'bad day'.
Don't allow the internet to deceive you with an intimacy facade. Nothing can substitute for non-verbal communication...touch, tone, a look, and ultimately sharing and exploring the depths of one's heart.
I think it's wonderful that Julie found direction in her life. However, she gave the credit for her life's meaning to another woman who had no interest in knowing her. How sad. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be directed in your life's meaning and purpose by someone who knows you very well AND is thrilled over relationship with you?
God says this: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jer. 29.11, NIV)
And He also says, "'For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.'" (Zeph. 3.17, NLT)
I want to seek my life's direction from THAT relationship.
Along similar relational lines, I find it interesting how connected we can feel to each other on facebook, and how deceptive that connection can really be. We can be lulled into feeling like we know our facebook friends, but what does it really mean when someone's having a bad day? For one person, it means that he overslept, hit every stoplight on the way to work, traffic was heavy and he had to work through lunch. For another, a bad day means he's devastated because his wife left him.
Do we know the difference? For so many, facebook and the internet are their source of building and maintaining relationship, but you cannot 'know' someone that way. You need face time (not just face 'book' time) with some friends that you'll pursue more depth with. We have to know, at least for a few friends, what exactly it means when they're having a 'bad day'.
Don't allow the internet to deceive you with an intimacy facade. Nothing can substitute for non-verbal communication...touch, tone, a look, and ultimately sharing and exploring the depths of one's heart.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Last Night's Dream
In the dream... It was night, and I was driving down a very, very dark road. Tim was in the passenger's seat and Allison was sort of sitting next to me in the driver's seat, sometimes making it hard to see the road, but everything seemed pleasant with us. All of a sudden, there was a car just sitting in the middle of the road--no lights, so I swerved to miss it. Then there were more cars, as if there had been an accident and cars kept hitting each other in the dark. I saw probably at least a dozen cars crashed on the dark road...still IN the road. It was totally silent, though. I felt scared; kind of panicky that I would hit one, but also knew that help was needed. We needed to call 9-1-1 for help, but also, one clear thought: "WE NEED LIGHTS BROUGHT IN." We need to be able to see how and where to help.
So I asked God about it this morning. He reminded me of Kathy Troccoli's song, "Go light your world." And then that I need to take my 'candle' into the darkness that exists on the path He has me on. Those crashed in the darkness don't even know they need to yell for help...or can't. I need to walk into the darkness with my light that will expose the needs, the pain, the danger of sitting silently wounded/crashed in the middle of the road.
So I asked God about it this morning. He reminded me of Kathy Troccoli's song, "Go light your world." And then that I need to take my 'candle' into the darkness that exists on the path He has me on. Those crashed in the darkness don't even know they need to yell for help...or can't. I need to walk into the darkness with my light that will expose the needs, the pain, the danger of sitting silently wounded/crashed in the middle of the road.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The Dance
Sometimes it's very obvious; other times it's so subtle it's nearly unnoticeable. Today, I stood in the center of a foot bridge at a park looking up river at God's unique and beautiful landscape and design.
The subtle ache exploded within me as I recognized, once again, that my soul was made for so much more -- not something I can attain on my own -- but something only God is vast enough and creative enough to fill day to day.
As I gazed up the river, willow trees flowed down into and gently caressed the water's edge. A vast mixture of other trees, shrubs and grasses decorated the frame of the river with many shapes, textures and colors. The portrait itself came to life just below my feet as a row of steady, strategically placed rocks, filtering out danger, provided a secure backdrop as several turtles danced freely to the flowing music of the water.
When do I take the time to dance to (or even hear) the music in the circumstances flowing through my life?
Often I resist it, fighting the current, but forgetting the barrier of rocks God has strategically placed to filter out harm...so that I can dance freely. As I think about it, there are several people, and even some material blessings, that God has placed in my flowing river who absorb dangerous debris, making the water safer and more conducive to celebrating and dancing freely.
And in the midst of it all, He dances over me. It's His dancing 'over' me that makes me want to dance with Him. And we dance together in His protected places...when I embrace what my soul was created for.
The subtle ache exploded within me as I recognized, once again, that my soul was made for so much more -- not something I can attain on my own -- but something only God is vast enough and creative enough to fill day to day.
As I gazed up the river, willow trees flowed down into and gently caressed the water's edge. A vast mixture of other trees, shrubs and grasses decorated the frame of the river with many shapes, textures and colors. The portrait itself came to life just below my feet as a row of steady, strategically placed rocks, filtering out danger, provided a secure backdrop as several turtles danced freely to the flowing music of the water.
When do I take the time to dance to (or even hear) the music in the circumstances flowing through my life?
Often I resist it, fighting the current, but forgetting the barrier of rocks God has strategically placed to filter out harm...so that I can dance freely. As I think about it, there are several people, and even some material blessings, that God has placed in my flowing river who absorb dangerous debris, making the water safer and more conducive to celebrating and dancing freely.
And in the midst of it all, He dances over me. It's His dancing 'over' me that makes me want to dance with Him. And we dance together in His protected places...when I embrace what my soul was created for.
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