Saturday, March 24, 2007

When God shows up

This past week was very occupied with the shows that my boys (my two young thespians) were in (The Jungle Book/Cinderella), and I've been very occupied with that the last couple days. I know it's been several days since I last posted, and I wanted to post something; however, whenever I tried to sit at the computer, I couldn't do it. And I certainly couldn't sit here to work (still have more to do). My head and neck ache...which makes it difficult to think on a deep level.

As I sat at the computer and got to this website, I lamented at my inability to sit here. I slid (literally) out of my chair and to my knees. Now, you have to picture this. Light off, kneeling in front of and leaning on my chair, my neck feeling too weak to hold my head up so my hands were holding my head up as the chair supported my elbows. I felt like the woman in the First Alert commercial: "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Yes, I could move around, but to sit still in this one position, to do the one thing I needed to do, felt impossible.

As I prayed, the verse from a song I learned back in college came to mind...Psalm 145:14-16:

"The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

Here I was, fallen (in a sense) physically, bowed to my knees, eyes on and seeking him for help, trusting him to show up and meet my needs...knowing he doesn't always meet our needs in the ways we want or in our preferred time frame. But I also know he's honored and loves it when we look to him and put our trust in him. So however he responded, I was committed to looking to him and trusting how he chose to provide.

All I can say is that I was filled with praise as I felt renewed strength in my neck again and was able to hold my head up. And I told him I would tell you about it. I do need to tend to some issues in my neck soon, but for now, "The Lord upholds" my head and is strengthening my neck.

I'm thinking about how often we struggle with issues...and struggle, and struggle...without falling to our knees and getting our eyes on him (I know we ALL do it). But how he longs to make eye contact with us...in those times and all the time. He is so passionate about us and delights in our attention!

"Oh, that they would always have hearts like this, that they might fear me and obey all my commands! If they did, they and their descendants would prosper forever." --Deut. 5.29

Back to work now to finish the last chapter of "Clash of Hope." Please pray for God's words in this chapter on 'Good Conflict'. It's been the hardest, but I know he'll show up and make it as he wants.

I'm praying for you.

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